Woman Explains How To Tell The Difference Between 'Mediocre' Men And 'Good' Men
It's time women stop holding men to the bare minimum.
@thatdarnchat / TikTok A woman revealed that there are signs to tell when a man is not fulfilling his partner's needs in a relationship but has still been labeled the "mediocre guy."
In a TikTok video, Laura Danger shared with viewers that a lot of standards women have for their husbands, boyfriends, and partners are things that they should already be doing. She pointed out that "mediocre" men often benefit from these low standards when, in reality, they shouldn't.
Danger explained the difference between 'mediocre' men and 'good' men.
In Danger's video, she recalled how a male content creator with a big following had said something problematic a few months back, and when Danger called him out on it, she ended up receiving a ton of backlash from online users.
The male creator in question had claimed that women are the ones responsible for their own standards of men, and if the bar is "on the floor," that's where they've "left it." Danger said the content creator had commented that under a video in which she had spoken about how society grooms women to have low expectations for men.
"Here's what I said: the bar is in hell because mediocre men benefit from the abuse of the sh---y ones," Danger recalled of her initial video. She also pointed out another popular male creator who claimed that men can make their partners' lives easier by cleaning up after themselves, to which Danger criticized him for that opinion.
"I said cleaning up after yourself is not making her life easier unless it was making her life hard in the first place," she continued, adding that men who do the "bare minimum" shouldn't be the standard that women look for in relationships.
"How are these the 'good guys?'" Danger questioned. "How is it that the standard for a good guy is this low? The bar shouldn't be that we find men who minimally inconvenience us, they should be enriching our lives. It should be a partnership."
Danger pointed out that it shouldn't be a "favor" when her husband does their family's laundry, reads an email from their child's school, or if he takes charge of getting the children out the door in the morning for school.
"A good man empowers, a good man steps up. When we congratulate and reward men for cleaning up messes that they made, we perpetuate unfair [and] unequal oppressive dynamics," Danger insisted. "Good men hear this feedback and they step up. Mediocre men think that cleaning up their own messes is something they should be applauded for."
As Danger mentioned in her video, a good partnership needs to thrive when both parties are pulling their own weight and doing more than just the bare minimum. For example, sharing household responsibilities helps create a more balanced and equitable partnership.
Traditionally, it's women who have often shouldered the majority of domestic chores and caregiving responsibilities. However, when men take an active role in household tasks, it eases the burden on their partners and promotes a sense of partnership and shared responsibility.
In the comments section, many women expressed their frustrations with mediocre men making their lives miserable.
"You don't have to ask for help or make him a list, he sees something needs to be done and does it. that's what it means to be a partner," one TikTok user pointed out.
Another user added, "All of this is why I remain single. I’m looking for someone who will add to my life rather than take away. Seems impossible."
"Bravo, you are so right. Raising my young man to understand everyone in the home has chores besides picking up after ourselves," a third user chimed in.
Both partners should strive to contribute their best efforts to create a strong and healthy partnership. The idea of men doing more than the bare minimum is not about placing additional burdens solely on men, but rather about fostering a culture of shared responsibility, respect, and support within the relationship.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.