Woman Declares That She Is Done With Dating After 'Mortifying' First Date Experience
It's been two years and she still cannot stop thinking about it.
file404 / Shutterstock A woman has declared that she is done with dating for good after a mortifying first date experience that happened to her a couple of years ago. Since that moment, the woman has replayed the embarrassing incident in her head each time she attempts to put herself back in the game.
Now, she is seeking advice on how she can best move forward.
The woman farted ‘loudly’ in front of her date the first time they went out together.
The woman explained her situation to Jane Green, a best-selling author who offers insight to women who are struggling in the dating world in her advice column. She admitted that the incident has left her terrified to ever go out on a date again, and asked Green how she can overcome her fears.
“Dear Jane,” the woman wrote. “Back in 2021, I went on what was my first date in two years, and something so mortifying happened that I haven't been able to go out with another guy since.”
The woman admitted that she lacked confidence following a breakup with her ex-boyfriend in 2017, and it took her a long time to start using dating apps to find love.
“Even after I set up a profile, the idea of actually going out with someone was terrifying to me,” she wrote.
She eventually met a guy she clicked with, and they made plans to meet up for dinner.
“The date started off great! He was charming, funny, kind, and very handsome,” she shared. “But while we were having drinks, my stomach started to feel a bit uncomfortable.”
The woman was unsure if it was nerves or something she’d eaten that caused her digestive issues, but thankfully, her stomach settled and she was able to enjoy the rest of the date. The man offered to walk her home once they’d finished off their food and drinks.
“As we got to my front door, he went to give me a hug,” the woman wrote. This is unfortunately where things went haywire. “Maybe it was the pressure of the hug, the relief that I'd survived the date ... but I farted,” she revealed. “Really loudly. So loudly that there was no way of hiding where it had come from or what it was. The sound still echoes in my ears two years later.”
The woman remembered stuttering a few words to her date before retreating inside, where she broke down into tears of shame.
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While she was humiliated, the woman’s date wasn't bothered by what happened. “He texted me the next day saying what a wonderful time he'd had, but there was no way I could reply,” the woman confessed. “All of these thoughts were swimming through my head about what he really must have thought about me. I felt disgusting and so horrifyingly hideous.”
Ever since the farting on first date incident of 2021, the woman has been unable to bring herself to pursue any new love interests.
“Every time I even think about re-joining an app or letting a friend set me up, my mind goes back to that moment,” she wrote. “And I'm so overcome with shame that I shut down.”
The woman recognized that her embarrassment is deeply affecting her social life, and asked Green how she can overcome her humiliation and fears and get herself back into the dating game.
Thankfully, Green offered some helpful and insightful advice.
Green reminded the woman that as humans, we all experience bodily functions that we cannot help sometimes.
“I’m sure that you have been around people who have unwittingly farted in front of you, and I’m quite certain that whatever you thought in the moment, it passed very quickly and you didn’t really give it very much thought after that at all,” Green wrote. “We are far more focused on our own behaviors than anyone else.”
And she's totally right. According to Women's Health, the average person passes gas 20 times per day. 20 times, let that sink in — and that's without having an upset tummy. So basically, everyone is tooting all day long. Chances are high that the woman's date cut the cheese during dessert, she just didn't hear it!
In order to fully move on from the incident, Green encouraged the woman to imagine the situation from the standpoint of her date. “You might be slightly embarrassed on their behalf, but nothing like the levels of shame you have felt for far too long.”
Additionally, she suggested that the woman confide in her friends and ask them to share their own embarrassing stories with her so that she knows that she is not alone. “Now you need to put it behind you (ahem), fart harder and more often, and start living a full life again.”
We’ve all found ourselves in embarrassing situations from time to time, even on dates.
Whether we’ve accidentally belched after drinking a soda too fast or sneezed before covering our mouths, these things happen to the best of us.
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Although we may feel less attractive and self-conscious when it happens, it is important to know that everyone has a functioning body, including your date. They too have likely farted in the presence of someone important, wanting to melt and disappear into the floor immediately afterward. However, they were able to pick themselves up, move on, and probably laugh about the unfortunate accident with the people around them.
When you go out on a date with someone, they will remember your smile, what you said that made them laugh, and how you gave them butterflies when they saw you walking toward them.
They will likely not remember if you farted or not.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.