Woman Dumps Boyfriend After Finding Out The Atrocious Things His Best Friend Did
She did him the favor of revealing his true nature.
Mix and Match Studio, axelbueckert | Canva A 20-year-old woman on Reddit recently penned a post on the AITAH subreddit, sparking a conversation about morals after revealing that she had broken up with her boyfriend.
She ended things with her 21-year-old boyfriend of two years after they got into an argument over his best friend and something that he had allegedly done — now, she’s being chided by his friends and is unsure of the decision she made.
She broke up with her boyfriend after he defended his best friend against sexual assault accusations.
She claims that for two years the relationship was good. Even their arguments were constructive thanks to good communication — until recently.
“A mutual friend of ours told me my boyfriend’s best friend J [raped] her while she was drunk at a party,” she explained in her post. “Because of the fact she was drunk, I was a little [skeptical] at first but I consoled her and we talked about it. After everything she told me, I believe her.”
No matter what, victims who are choosing to speak out should be believed. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, a staggering one in five women will be the victim of sexual violence in the U.S., and false reports only occur between 2 and 10 percent of the time. Sadly, despite these numbers, rape is the most underreported crime — 63 percent of sexual assaults never get reported to authorities.
Just because someone was drunk, does not mean their statement should be met with skepticism. In fact, alcohol is widely considered the most commonly used date rape drug. An intoxicated person cannot give informed consent.
To this woman’s credit, she claims that she had never liked her boyfriend’s best friend, J. “I don’t like him because he is a spoiled little man child and I have caught him lying multiple times,” she explains. “He is also mean to practically everybody except his mom and loves to make inappropriate 'jokes' and comments about everything under the sun.”
With their mutual friend’s permission, she discussed the accusation with her boyfriend and received a reaction that she was not expecting.
He accused the victim of lying and defended J, saying he would never do something like that.
“The moment I told him about it he snapped at me and said that J would never do something like that and that I should keep my nose out of their business,” she wrote. “To me, that was a weird reaction.”
She was confused by his angry reaction and he explained that “more women in the past have said that J [raped] them and that J always said he didn’t." Needless to say, her boyfriend has taken J's side.
When she told him that she couldn’t believe he was still friends with someone who would do something like that, he lost it. “My boyfriend had the audacity to say that this friend was such a [expletive] (she isn’t) she probably liked it so I shouldn’t make such a big deal of it.”
Had he communicated with kindness and accepted her point of view, the relationship might still be intact. Conscious communication expert, Karina Chapman, explained to The House Of Wellness, “Disputes can easily become heated and sometimes cause irreparable damage to relationships.” But the key to preventing harm, she urges, is to actively listen and respond rather than react — something this boyfriend did not do.
She broke up with him because he revealed his misogynistic views and beliefs. Sadly, after the split, her male friends criticized her for holding her boyfriend accountable for his friend's actions and making her doubt her decision.
The people and actions that you choose to defend say a lot about your character.
It's this similar mentality that saw Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis getting so much hate for the letters they wrote in the Danny Masterson trial.
While she’s not happy about the end of the relationship and her male friends' reactions, support from the Reddit community reassured her that she made the right choice.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.