Woman Accused Of 'Ruining' Her Ex's Birthday Party After She Brought A Cake For Him Against His Current Girlfriend's Wishes
She says that baking a cake is a family tradition, but his new girlfriend was not having it.
JFunk / Dean Drobot / Shutterstock A woman is being accused of “ruining” her ex-partner’s birthday party after she arrived with a certain additional cake for him. Her ex’s current girlfriend, who organized the party, had already ordered a birthday cake and forbade the woman from bringing one for him.
However, the woman argues that the cake is a tradition in their family that is important to her and their children. Now, she is wondering if she is in the wrong and if she should have never brought a cake in the first place.
The woman brought a birthday cake to her ex’s party against his girlfriend’s wishes since their children wanted to give him one.
Sharing her story to the subreddit, r/AmITheA-–hole, the woman revealed that she is an “amateur baker” who often prepares cakes for her friends and family’s birthdays.
According to the woman, her ex-partner does not like any sweets, but she and their children have always baked him a cake together and they enjoy the process, so the woman has made it a family tradition.
This year, for the woman’s ex’s birthday, his current girlfriend organized a party for him. “She told me she had already ordered him a cake so I didn’t need to make one,” the woman wrote.
However, her children repeatedly asked her when they were going to make a cake for their father, as they were excited about the process.
Photo: Reddit
When the woman told her daughter that they would not be making a cake for their dad this year, the woman said she became upset and assumed it was because she “didn’t like” her father anymore.
Since baking a cake clearly meant a lot to her children, the woman decided to bake a small one for their father with them to his party. “It’s not like he eats cake anyway and I don’t want my kids to think I dislike their dad,” she wrote.
When the woman informed her ex’s girlfriend that she would be bringing a small cake for her ex, she advised her not to bring it.
“I told her I had to bring it to the party as that’s when the kids would give him his gifts,” the woman added. She even offered to come to the party early so that she could drop the cake off in the fridge before any other guests would see it.
Still, her ex’s girlfriend repeatedly told her not to bring it.
In the end, the woman did end up bringing the cake she made for her ex so that their children could give it to him, and his girlfriend was not pleased. “Now she keeps complaining to mutual friends that I did it on purpose to ruin the party and calling me weird for making him a cake after I was told not to,” the woman wrote.
Photo: VGStockstudio / Shutterstock
She asked if she was in the wrong for baking and bringing a cake to the party against her ex’s girlfriend’s wishes.
Many were divided. Some people believed that the woman should not have brought the cake since the party’s host told her not to.
“As the host, she is the one responsible for the cake. Because SHE IS THE HOST,” one Redditor commented.
“There were so many moments that you could have prevented this by using good communication. You could have explained to your children that there would already be a birthday cake, you could have taken the initiative to let your children help you make cookies or something else instead of a cake,” another user suggested.
“I think this is less about the kids and more about you being petty with your ex’s girlfriend, and you’re hiding behind the kids to boot,” another user shared. “I mean, the man doesn’t even like cake. You do. Stop pushing.”
However, other people believed that if the tradition was important to the woman and her children, then she should be able to bring the cake.
“This is something the kids help do for Dad. You explained the situation and offered compromises,” one user noted.
“Your children knowing that their parents are on good terms despite a divorce is more important than his new girlfriend’s feelings about her store-bought cake,” another user wrote. “I think your willingness to let her know you were still doing it and offering to bring it at a different time shows it’s not about upstaging her and it’s really for the kids.”
Even in the midst of a separation, maintaining family traditions is something that is always important for the sake of the children. It creates a sense of normalcy in their lives even though their parents are no longer together, and demonstrates the respect that families can still have for each other after separation.
However, the woman’s cake tradition could have remained intact without having to bring the cake to her ex’s birthday party to avoid conflict. It would have been best if she and her ex had scheduled a time outside of the party when she and the children could have presented him with the thoughtful gift.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.