Woman Breaks Up With Her New Boyfriend After He Tells Her He Wants A 'Perfect' Marriage Just Like His Parents
After seeing what her future would be like, she wanted out of the relationship.
Roman Samborskyi, Ground Picture / Shutterstock; CanvaPro When getting into relationships, some people have the end goal of settling down with someone who meets all of their expectations, supports them unconditionally, and whom they can share an emotional connection with.
Even in the early stages of dating, some couples have marriage in mind and discuss it with one another. It is then that they realize that may be perfect for each other — or be each other’s worst nightmare.
One woman got a glimpse into her future after her boyfriend of one month told her that he wanted a marriage that was “just like his parents,” and it was not at all the one she was picturing.
The woman’s boyfriend told her he wanted a ‘perfect, loving relationship’ just like his parents, which was actually anything but loving and perfect.
In a TikTok video that has garnered over 1 million views, Danielle Lin Cook (@yellerweller) recalls the relationship which she claims was the “quickest I ever broke things off with a potential partner.”
After dating for a month, the man told Cook that he one day hoped to have a marriage that was identical to his parents, which he described as a “perfect” and “loving” relationship. “He said they were the perfect partners, they were so in love, they sacrificed so much for each other, and they went through so many trials and tribulations to be together,” she says.
Although, when Cook met the man’s family one night, she discovered that they had a much different relationship dynamic than she expected. And it was not exactly perfect or even loving.
“The dad is sitting at the kitchen table waiting, and the mom is doing all the cooking, finishing up,” she says. Initially, she believed that the couple simply followed more traditional relationship expectations, and that was nothing too extreme.
However, as the night went on, Cook learned more disturbing details about their seemingly perfect marriage.
“As we’re getting to know each other, I learned that not only does she do everything around the house, and does all of the childcare for him [the man] and his siblings growing up, but she was also the sole breadwinner of the home,” she says. “The husband couldn’t hold down a job and spent most of his time playing guitar in his garage because he was gonna ‘make it big someday.’”
And don't get it twisted. Just because he plays guitar does not make him a fun, loving and down-to-earth soul. Cook claims that the husband did not “say a single positive thing the entire night.”
“I don’t even think that he smiled once. All he did was complain about the weather, he complained about politics, he complained about the food she made,” she shares.
Still, Cook did not want to entirely believe that the man’s parents’ marriage was all that miserable. While the man was driving her home, she inquired about the supposed “trials and tribulations” they had endured to be together.
Photo: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels
“In my head, I’m thinking, maybe he saved her from a fire or something,” she admitted. However, the man’s answer left Cook feeling even more appalled.
It turns out that when the man’s father and mother were young, his father had “an issue with infidelity” and cheated on his mother numerous times. “She almost left him a ton of times, but then she ‘stuck it out’ and stayed together ‘for the family' because ‘that’s what love is about,’” Cook says the man told her.
That was enough for Cook to call it off with the man the following morning. “I told him that he showed me what our future would be like together and I was just not interested in it,” she claims. “And he could genuinely not understand why I did not think his parents’ relationship was the ultimate goal in life.”
Most people were just as horrified as Cook and praised her decision to break up with her boyfriend.
“You dodged the biggest bullet ever!” one TikTok user commented. “That dinner was a gift from the universe!” another user wrote. “So glad you ran… also I’ve learned that ‘perfect relationship’ is a red flag,” another user shared.
Others expressed their sympathy and concerns for the man’s mother who was obviously trapped in a loveless, and emotionally abusive marriage.
Even though the man claims that his mother stuck around for the sake of the family, it actually may have negatively impacted them in the end. When couples decide to stay together for the children, they continue to tolerate the issues that are dividing them rather than discussing and working to improve them.
“Using the ‘kids’ as the excuse as to why you’re not going to split up (even if you’re really unhappy with your partner) can create a dynamic that’s not good for anyone,” David Schwartz, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Psychology Today.
“The even sadder part of this scenario is that the kids you’re trying to set an example for are almost certainly going to pick up on the unhappiness in the household.”
Photo: Volurol / Shutterstock
Even worse, they may believe that sticking by someone simply because you have children together is acceptable and a solution to the problem. As a result, they may go into future relationships with the same mindset and end up severely hurting or being hurt by their partners.
Surely, if you want what is best for your children, you can start by teaching them significant life lessons that may be difficult for them to digest, but in the end, will protect their hearts.
Even though the man believed that his parents may have had the perfect relationship, considering what they went through and how his mother continues to take care of his father, he must pause and ask himself, perfect for whom?
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.