Whoopi Goldberg Says She’s 'Not Meant' For Marriage After Being Married 3 Times — “I Don’t Want Somebody In My House’
Research has shown that unmarried, childless women are some of the happiest people.
Ovidiu Hrubaru / Shutterstock Television personality and actress Whoopi Goldberg has been married three times — but she is no expert on relationships or love. In fact, Goldberg herself is not convinced that she was even in love with any of her three husbands.
Looking back, she admits that she only got married due to societal expectations, and many other women are praising her for her honesty, confessing that they have similar feelings toward marriage.
After being married three times, Whoopi Goldberg decided that marriage just wasn’t for her.
During an appearance on “Who's Talking to Chris Wallace?” on MAX to promote her memoir, “Bits and Pieces: My Brother, My Mother, and Me,” Goldberg revealed that she simply does not have the emotional energy that is required for marriage.
“I don’t care how you feel,” she said with a laugh. “It’s terrible. You know, when you're married to somebody, you have to be invested in how they're feeling."
According to Goldberg, her interests lie elsewhere. “I’m invested in my kid, I’m invested in her kids, I’m invested in my son-in-law, I’m invested in my friends,” she shared. “But I am not invested in a relationship that would require as much as having a child requires.”
Goldberg has tied the knot on three separate occasions. She married her first husband, Alvin Martin, in 1973. Together, they had a daughter, Alexandrea, before divorcing in 1979.
Goldberg married cinematographer David Claessen in 1986 and split in 1988.
Her final marriage was to Lyle Trachtenberg in 1994. They divorced in 1995, and Goldberg vowed never to re-marry.
She has since upheld the promise to herself.
In a 2011 interview with Piers Morgan, Goldberg even admitted that she was never in love with any of her husbands.
For those wondering why Goldberg even got married in the first place, she claimed it was because she wanted to “feel normal.”
“It seemed to me that if I was married, I’d have a much normal life,” she told Morgan during their CNN interview. “But clearly, that’s not the case. That’s not a good reason to get married.”
“You have to actually want a life with someone through ups and downs, and I just discovered that it wasn’t for me.”
In 2021, while appearing on "The Drew Barrymore Show," Goldberg was asked about her current view on relationships. She replied, “I think they’re great for other people.”
“For many, many years, I thought, I’ve got to get this right. And then I realized one day, I don’t got to get this right. I got this right for me. Why do I need you to come into my bathroom and irritate me?”
Goldberg’s hilariously accurate proclamations about marriage resonated with others.
“The older I get, the more I realize that Ms. Whoopi was onto something,” TikTok user Gwendolyn Shanell said in a video.
“As I’m laying in this comfortable [expletive] bed and there’s nobody else next to me, the amount of peace and serenity that I feel is telling me that I don’t want nobody in my house either!”
Another user agreed, “I can only handle company for a couple of hours. I love my peace.”
“As a single woman, the peace is priceless,” another wrote.
While some people may enjoy the company of coming home to a partner every day, it is certainly not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay!
There is societal pressure, especially for women, to get married for life to be fulfilled.
Throughout history, marriage has been seen as a significant milestone and a symbol of stability and success for women. Many cultures place a strong emphasis on family and procreation, which is tied to longstanding beliefs about legitimacy and marriage.
However, despite societal assumptions, many women feel happy and fulfilled without ever feeling the need to get married.
Research conducted by Mintel found that 61% of single women are happy with their relationship status, with 75% claiming that they have no plans to settle down with a romantic partner.
Professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, Paul Dolan, has discovered through his studies that unmarried, childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population. “We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother,” Professor Dolan shared at the Hay Festival via The Guardian.
everymmnt / Shutterstock
Some women simply prefer to come home after a long day at work, unwind by themselves with a TV show, a bottle of wine, and a face mask before heading off into a bed with nothing but a couple of pillows to snuggle with — and they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Marriage does not equate to a satisfying and fulfilling life, and no one should feel obligated to walk down the aisle if it is not what they want.
If you want to feel “normal,” do what feels right for you, even if it does not include marriage.
Not everyone’s normal is going to look the same.
Some are happiest with traditional marital and familial roles, while others might prefer the peace of solitude. Both can be equally joyous as long as the choices are not made to fit others' ideals.
Like Goldberg, many unmarried people find peace in not having someone barge into the bathroom while they're getting ready and immediately irritating them.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.