What It Means When The Groom Doesn't Cry Seeing His Bride Walk Down The Aisle
We may want our grooms to break down when they see us walking down the aisle for the first time, but they may not, and that's okay.
Studio113 / Viorel Sima / Shutterstock; CanvaPro There is perhaps nothing sweeter for a bride on her wedding day walking down the aisle and seeing her groom break down in tears at the sight of her. His display of emotions clearly depicts his love for her and the joy he feels knowing that the beautiful woman walking toward him will be spending the rest of her life with him.
But what does it mean if your groom doesn’t shed a tear as he sees you walking down the aisle? Or if he doesn’t let a single one slip the entire ceremony, reception, or your first moments alone together as husband and wife?
Some brides may fear that their grooms not crying at the altar means their new husband doesn't love them.
Or, they may think that their new husband doesn't love them nearly as much as the ones who cry love their wives. However, this is far from the truth in nearly every instance where a groom doesn’t cry seeing his bride for the first time.
While he may be silent and composed standing at the altar, this does not mean that he isn’t brewing with every single emotion at once, and it definitely doesn’t mean that he isn’t overwhelmed with the most intense kind of love he’s ever experienced.
People express their emotions in different ways, and this does not mean that grooms are cold-hearted or incapable of love if they do not cry.
It seems as if nearly every wedding video we see on social media involves a groom sobbing out of pure joy seeing his bride walk down the aisle toward him for the first time. Most of us will see the heartfelt reactions and will tear up along with them.
However, some brides-to-be may go into their wedding day with the expectation that their groom will react the same way, and some of them will be disappointed when they walk down the aisle and their groom simply smiles at them without any tears streaming down their face.
Some of them may even jump to the conclusion that their husband may not love them as deeply as they thought they did. But the truth is that crying doesn’t make you emotionally detached or stunted. Some people just don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves — and that is completely okay.
No personality is exactly the same. As humans, we all possess different behaviors, traits, and cognitions.
Our brains are all biologically constructed differently, and various structures can impact our psyche and emotional sensitivity. This may mean that some of us are just more prone to crying when we feel emotional than others.
While neuroscientists are not exactly sure about the brain mechanisms behind crying, they do know that it has to do with the limbic system.
"Just as people who are more anxious have differences in sensitivity of their amygdala, so too differences in crying are linked to genetic differences in sensitivity of the limbic system,” Dr. Forest Talley, a psychologist, told Women's Day.
Other people may have more sensitive personalities that allow them to cry freely more easily than others. When they are in a highly emotional situation, such as their wedding, they are more likely to release their emotions, especially since their guests are likely feeling all of it as well.
"A highly sensitive person is more sensitive to their surroundings, to other people's feelings, the good, and the bad of that," psychologist Elaine Aron revealed to Women’s Day. "They're more affected by the attitudes and comments of others."
Those who are not as sensitive may only be focused on their own emotional state, and while they may not show it, they may be overcome with all the feelings. They just may not come out in the form of tears.
Cultural norms have also led some men to the ludicrous idea that they are not allowed to cry.
Growing up, they likely heard the words “Boys don’t cry!” each time they were on the verge of tears, expressing a completely normal human emotion despite gender.
"Women are socialized to explore, talk about, and show their feelings from a young age more than men. This means that crying, a typical expression of sadness, grief, or vulnerability is more familiar to them,” Dr. Kate Cummins , Psy.D. also said to Women’s Day.
"I see many boys in middle and high school who fight back tears, while girls of the same age will openly cry.”
Photo: Jurij Krupiak / Shutterstock
Even on their own wedding days, some grooms may feel as if they cannot, and should not cry, especially in front of their guests and their soon-to-be wife. Still, this does not mean that your groom does not love you endlessly.
Believe it or not, certain environmental factors at the actual wedding ceremony can also impact emotions, and may even lead to them shedding a few tears.
According to Karly Richardson, a wedding photographer, there are certain measures you can take at a wedding if you really want to increase the odds of your groom breaking down in tears at the altar.
You can make the aisle long, giving him more time to look at you walking toward him in your dress and giving him more time to process what is happening. You can pick a song that he likes or one that is meaningful to your relationship. You can plan a prayer that gives him a moment to talk about what he’s feeling.
Photo: Kyryk Ivan / Shutterstock
Even with these added measures, they still may not cry. “If your sweet groom doesn’t cry or react in a huge way, don’t be disappointed! It’s a lot of pressure, and it doesn’t mean he loves you any less,” Richardson adds on her website.
“I photograph a lot of weddings, and I can tell you that the majority of grooms don’t have a “special” reaction. It won’t hurt anything to implement a few things to try to make him cry, but trust me — a huge grin will be enough to make you swoon.”
The most important thing isn’t whether or not your groom cries on your wedding day. What's important is the other ways he demonstrates his love for you, how he makes you feel, and how he looks at you.
There is a reason he asked you to walk down the aisle and marry him in the first place, even if you get there and there are no tears in his eyes.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.