Tom Brady & Gisele Bündchen Lacked A Key Trait Needed To Prevent Divorce — And Not Even Retirement Could Change It
Experts say marriage cannot survive without it.
Instagram Although the internet and social media are having field days regarding Tom Brady’s re-retirement from the NFL, for many real fans of the legendary quarterback there’s a feeling of sympathy that comes along with the closing of an era of football coupled with the way Brady left.
News of his retirement a year ago turned into news that he would be coming back, which turned into struggles in his marriage with Gisele Bündchen and a final season with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers that was cut short by the Dallas Cowboys in the Wild Card round of the playoffs.
It was a whirlwind of a year, and you can’t help but feel bad for the guy as he holds back the tears in the announcement video he posted to Instagram and Twitter.
But a look back at the tumultuous year Brady has had proves that perhaps his marriage was lacking a key trait that he has always applied to his career.
Tom Brady’s retirement is bittersweet when measured with his divorce from Gisele Bündchen.
Brady’s post on Instagram, uploaded on February 1st, 2023, included more than just a video and saw the now-former quarterback reminiscing on moments in time over the span of his career — including photos of himself with Bündchen and their three children.
Under the sweet post, which included “I love my family” at the very beginning in the caption, Bündchen commented “Wishing you only wonderful things in this new chapter of your life,” with the prayer hands emoji.
Before all of the tabloids and social media critics theorize how Brady will try to win his wife back now that he’s no longer playing football, take a second to realize that their divorce was much bigger than the NFL.
Although they never truly explained what caused their separation, there were many reports and speculations that the sole cause was football.
While that could be true to some extent, it’s more likely that football was merely a catalyst that gave the couple a newfound perspective on the limits of their marriage.
Tom Brady initially pointed out that he was retiring to focus on his family.
Just a month before his initial retirement which occurred on February 1st, 2022, Brady spoke on the “Let’s Go!” podcast with Larry Fitzgerald and Jim Gray, where he spoke about what his future would hold — more time with his family.
“I’m gonna spend some time with them and give them what they need, because they’ve really been giving me what I need the last six months to do what I love to do,” Brady said.
“I said this a few years ago, it’s what relationships are all about – It’s not always what I want, it’s what we want as a family,” he continued.
There seemed to be an emphasis on his family and his former wife — speculations drew that perhaps the choice wasn’t his, but one that he made in order to get his relationship out of muddy waters.
40 days later, Brady unretires, claiming that his wife and kids were fully supportive of his choice — but everything changed toward the end of the summer when more murmurs claimed there was tension between them.
A source revealed to Us Weekly in late October — after the pair had officially split earlier that month — that “Gisele told Tom either he leaves football to spend time with the family or she is gone for good.”
Though some might look at that ultimatum as manipulating and blame her for their troubles, context is what’s important here.
Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's marriage may have lacked one key trait experts say is necessary.
If Brady wasn’t doing his job as a father and as a husband, then she’s well within her rights to make the best choice she sees fit for herself and their children.
Laura Miolla, a YourTango expert and Divorce Coach explained that commitment is more important to a marriage than the marriage itself.
“Relationships work when there are shared values and a shared commitment,” she said. “And by commitment, I mean intentionally choosing the other person every day.”
In life, we often make choices that primarily benefit ourselves — choosing to put our careers first for example. Brady and Bündchen were no different.
Brady went back on his word, and Bündchen may have taken that news personally. Bündchen's commitment likely also wavered when her husband's all-consuming career appeared to have no end in sight.
“Commitment like that is the true demonstration of love. And unfortunately, it is rarely found in marriage.”
That doesn’t fault him for wanting to go where his heart would take him either, it just means that they weren’t on the same page when it came down to their values and commitments.
Brady wanted one more year, and Bündchen didn’t — neither party was wrong.
Without that initial show of commitment to one another when both started to want different things, their lengthy marriage broke down and even Brady's inevitable retirement was too little too late.
However, even though marriage requires putting another person first, sometimes in life one has to choose themselves and if that is a choice Brady and Bündchen made then no one can fault them.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.