Mom's 2-Year-Old Was Kicked Out Of Daycare — She Thinks They Just Don't Want 'A Difficult Kid'
The daycare tried to say her daughter wasn't ready, but this mom thinks they weren't ready to do their jobs.
mofles, Dusan Stankovic via Canva After her 2-year-old was kicked out of daycare, a mother took to Reddit’s “r/Parenting” subreddit seeking advice on what to do next while also throwing blame at the daycare.
She’s a first-time parent and claims to be “heartbroken,” but explains the situation in full detail, even updating the post with a bunch of information in order to fix the narrative that commenters were creating. To start, she talks about the behavioral issue her 2-year-old daughter has been struggling with.
Her 2-year-old was kicked out of daycare because she bangs her head during fits.
The first sentence of her post explains that her 2-year-old daughter is prone to fits. “For a long time, she would pretty aggressively headbang in frustration (usually against the floor). She has gotten a lot better this past year as her communication has improved.”
Toddlers have what’s known as a “hitting stage,” which means that in order to express their emotions — whether it be anger, frustration, or disappointment — they’ll start hitting or biting. According to The Children’s Mercy Hospital, “Toddlers have more motor control than infants, but don't yet have a lot of language to communicate what they need or want.”
In a similar fashion, this mom’s daughter seems to express her frustrations through fits where instead of hitting someone else, she will bang her own head into the floor.
Photo: Reddit
“During daycare, as they would transition from [one] activity to another (or to meal times/sleep times) she would go into a fit a couple of times a day, and she would headbang,” the mom explained. “After the 3rd day, they withdrew her from the facility and told [me] that maybe in a few months, she would be allowed to try again if cleared by a professional and if the therapy service they are contracted with could spare someone to watch over her while she's there.”
Basically, the toddler was kicked out of the daycare because “[the] director felt she wasn't ready.” Now, this would have been a valid concern to the mother, had there not been visible improvements within those three days she was there.
According to an article published by NPR in 2021, "1 in 3 working families is struggling to find the child care they desperately need." Not only are prices through the roof, but finding high-quality childcare is also a struggle. It's a neverending cycle of trying to find affordable childcare, making sure that childcare is high-quality, and then waiting for them to accept your application.
The mom believes that the daycare just doesn't ‘want to have a difficult kid.’
“I feel as though they just don't want to have a difficult kid,” she explained. “They only gave her 3 days and the teacher said she was improving from the first day to the third. We tried to suggest alternatives like starting out 1 hour a day or even waiting in the building and if she acted up we would take her home,” but they stood firm in their ruling.
She says that going to school brought her daughter out of her shell, and the photos that she saw of her at daycare brought the mom so much joy. She had never been one to play with kids her age, always preferring older kids, but this was the one time she seemed to stray from her comfort zone.
Photo: Rawpixel.com / Shutterstock
Lost and confused about what she should do, she asked if there was anything that Reddit could offer that would help her fix her daughter’s behavior or give her an experience similar to the daycare she was kicked out of — but commenters thought there was another problem.
They believed her daughter might be autistic, claiming that the daycare was ill-equipped to handle a child with special needs and that she should instead seek an evaluation to see if she needs those extra accommodations.
“I'm not scared of the autistic diagnosis,” she claimed in her update. “I will give my child whatever help she needs to make sure she succeeds.”
She has been under regular evaluations and has seen improvements thanks to her speech development. “Some people seem to just be thirsty to diagnose my daughter and think that I'm just trying to force a poor daycare that isn't equipped to handle my daughter to deal with her.”
She thanked the commenters who actually provided constructive criticism, as well as those who offered her support for her heartbreak.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.