Terminally Ill Man Says Family Threatened To Disown Him If He Uses All His Money To Enjoy His Final Months
His parents want to use the money for themselves.
kudla / Shutterstock Faced with a difficult decision regarding how to live out his final months, one man has found himself feuding with his family over what to do with his life insurance. Having been diagnosed with a terminal illness, the man is considering using the money from the policy to make his final months more comfortable.
His family, however, has a different idea.
The man planned to cash out his life insurance money so he could enjoy his final months.
Posting to Reddit, the man, 28, wrote that he has been given approximately a year to live after being diagnosed with a terminal medical condition.
"So I haven't been able to work now for about 2 months, but I won't be eligible for hospice care until probably a few weeks before the end," he wrote in the Reddit post.
He received the life insurance policy when he was 18, which has a "relatively small amount yearly" and worthwhile terms.
"The actual policy itself was for an eye-watering amount if I died before a certain age which unfortunately is what is going to happen," he explained.
Since being diagnosed, the man has been living with his parents "rent-free" since he doesn't currently have a job or a steady stream of income and he hasn't had the best relationship with them.
"They pretty much only did the minimum required by law in terms of how they raised me. No complaints, but not 'Parents of the Year' material. A lot of this was due to finances," he said, adding that he's contributed money toward food and utilities.
Recently, the man has been "investigating cash-outs" through his life insurance so he can move out of his parent's house and live somewhere during the final months of his life.
"There are going to be some taxation issues, but the end result will be that my parents will essentially get an amount that will cover my funeral and possibly a really good second-hand car," he continued. "I estimate that the amount I will get will be enough for me to rent a nice condo near the beach, nice meals, maid service, some great experiences while I am well enough, and some in-home care nursing towards the end."
The man's parents don't agree with his decision, telling him that the life insurance policy can "set them up for life."
His parents have been trying to convince him not to cash out of the life insurance, arguing that they've "made a lot of sacrifices" to have him move into their home until he can go on hospice.
"One of them was going to give up work towards the end to provide some home care until I qualified for hospice, but my cashing out will mean they can keep working," he wrote.
He concluded his post by noting that while it would be "the noble thing" to help his parents out financially, he would rather spend the life insurance money on making sure that the end of his life ends comfortably.
Most people agreed that his parents were in the wrong — but grief could be at play here.
"Your parents are being selfish. Why shouldn't you enjoy the time that you have left?" one person wrote.
While the man's parents' actions may appear selfish on the surface, it's possible that their grief is preventing them from thinking clearly.
“In the face of physical or emotional pain, or a traumatic incident, our sympathetic nervous system has three responses: fight, flight or freeze," Joe Nemmers, LISW, explained to UnityPoint Health. "Emotional numbing is freezing. Our brain shuts down as a protective response to keep us safe when our nervous system is overloaded.”
In attempting to avoid or turn off the grief that comes with losing a child, the parents could be focusing on their son's life insurance, or may even simply prefer their son to stay with them until the end as they fear they don't have much time left to spend together.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. She can be found on Instagram and Twitter.