Stay-At-Home Mom Defends Herself From Backlash After Complaining That Other Moms Ignore Her At Kid Activities
She's a Black mom living in a predominantly white area.
@justkjsamone / TikTok Stay-at-home mom KJ Samone has found herself at the center of a viral debate. The mother of two, who has been a stay-at-home mom for a decade, recently took to TikTok to voice her experiences, igniting a flurry of reactions.
In her viral video, Samone shared her feelings of exclusion due to living in a predominantly white neighborhood. But some people think that she's being too judgemental.
A stay-at-home mom defended herself from backlash after complaining that other moms ignore her.
"Me being ignored by all the other 'moms' even though I'm a SAHM enjoying daytime activities with my kids while my husband is on a business trip too," she wrote in text on top of the video.
Even though most people commended her, with some even sharing similar stories, there were those who were dismissive of her experience.
"You could be missing out on some great friendships because you don't want to be the first person to reach out," one person wrote. "Go up to them start a conversation. Maybe you are already guarded and it shows in your face," another person added.
The initial video sparked a series of follow-ups, with Samone expanding on her viewpoint.
The mother of two reflected on her years of navigating spaces where she often finds herself the only Black mom present. "I've been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, since the age of 18. I'm not new to this... I have always lived in predominantly white areas," she said.
She did not shy away from detailing the uncomfortable encounters she's faced, often feeling overlooked or intentionally ignored by other moms. The videos expose the deeper societal issue of racial stereotypes and biases that can permeate everyday interactions.
"Just because you act blind to a problem, just because you ignore a problem, does not mean the problem does not exist," Samone emphasized, adding, "It is not my job to prove that I'm not the stereotype that you think of me."
Samone responded to the people asking if she had made attempts to be approachable.
"I walk into a space, smile, make eye contact with people just like any average person, just like anybody else. I'm not unapproachable," she said.
She also called out those who attempt to invalidate her experience: "A lot of y'all are triggered because my experience is my experience, and I'm not backing down from it."
Samone categorized the responses into three types, highlighting those who can relate, those willing to acknowledge unconscious biases, and the "Karens" who are dismissive of her experience. She concluded that despite all the backlash from such a short video, she wouldn't be significantly affected by it.
"That's my truth, and it is what it is... y'all can say whatever y'all want to say off that 9-second video about something that I have been living my entire life. So you're not gonna shake me or break me with comments like this. It is what it is," she said.
Samone's perspective offers a glimpse into the lived experience of a Black stay-at-home mom living in a predominately white area in America today. Instead of trying to argue with her, people should be listening.
Her experience is unique not only to Black moms in white areas but also to her. Her experience will not be the same as another stay-at-home mom in a white area, which doesn't make it invalid.
Ethan Cotler is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango living in Boston. His writing covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.