Ryan Reynolds Explains How Having Anxiety Has Helped Him Be A 'Better Dad' To His Four Kids
During an interview with Hugh Jackman for their upcoming movie, Ryan Reynolds admitted that his anxiety has helped him relate to his children.
DFree | Shutterstock Anxiety is something that millions of people suffer from worldwide and can take on many different forms during certain moments of our lives. While it can be a debilitating mental disorder that can prevent individuals from accomplishing things, "Deadpool" actor Ryan Reynolds recently opened up about how he's managed to utilize it and become a better parent.
During a Q&A for People's cover story with Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman promoting their upcoming movie, "Deadpool & Wolverine," both A-list actors spoke about the importance of incorporating their mental health into the way they raise their kids and how it's helped transform their roles as fathers.
Ryan Reynolds opened up about how having anxiety has helped him be a 'better dad.'
"You've been pretty open with your anxiety struggles, which I really applaud you for," Jackman told Reynolds during their interview. "Do you find being a dad makes it better or worse?"
In response, Reynolds admitted that it "makes it better." The 47-year-old actor, who shares four children with his wife, Blake Lively, explained that he can divert the focus to be less on himself and more on his children.
"Now I love that I have anxiety; I love that I've had anxiety," Reynolds continued. "Because when I see my kids experiencing some of that, which is probably genetic, I know how to address it in a way that is compassionate, that actually allows them to feel seen. I know that I can't just fix it. And I can communicate all that stuff to them and with them. I'm always grateful for it."
Historically, there was a societal expectation for men to keep their feelings and emotions to themselves.
Men were told to be strong, stoic, and emotionless. Being vulnerable about their mental health was frowned upon, and instead, men were taught to suppress those emotions despite the negative toll that it took on themselves and the people around them.
That's why it's extremely refreshing to see men like Reynolds and Jackman break through those stereotypes and admit that not only do they struggle with mental health disorders like anxiety, but they refuse to let it consume them and their children. Jackman even admitted that he once held onto those beliefs that fathers shouldn't burden their children with their emotions.
"I was a little bit old-school," Jackman told People about sharing his emotions with his kids. "I thought, 'Don’t burden them if you are anxious.' I had to make an uncomfortable phone call yesterday, and I actually just said to my son, 'I’ve got to make this uncomfortable phone call. I’m a bit nervous about it. If I seem a bit off, that’s why.' And he goes, 'Oh.' And then he said, 'How did the call go, Dad?' I said, 'I feel so much better.'"
Research has shown that anxious and depressed dads raise smart and well-behaved children.
A study conducted by the CDC found that 1 in 14 children aged 0-17 had at least one parent with poor mental health. There was also a direct correlation with not only poor mental health in their children but poor physical health as well.
Similarly, a study conducted by several Canadian universities that focused on 61 kids — 36 boys and 25 girls — looked at how fathers' anxiety and depression, both during pregnancies and when their children were between the ages of six and eight, impacted the kids' behavior. Researchers expected anxious and depressed dads to have a negative impact on their kids, but the findings ended up being the complete opposite.
Anxious and depressed dads had better attention spans, higher IQs, and more self-control. Kids with depressed dads were observed to be able to sit still for longer periods, lose their temper less often, and have much longer attention spans. School test scores also indicated that these children had higher IQs than children whose fathers did not suffer anxiety or depression.
A possible reason paternal distress seemed to have had the opposite effect is that these dads might be practicing better parental attunement, which is when parents are aware and responsive to their child's emotions, according to Tina Montreuil, a co-author of the 2018 paper that reviewed both maternal and paternal anxiety impacting offspring.
In an interview with ScienceDaily, Montreuil explained, "Since greater parental attunement is associated to child cognitive and social competencies, one potential explanation is that the fathers in our study sample may have shown greater attunement to their child to 'compensate' for environmental risk factors, such as maternal depressive or anxiety symptoms, or others known predictors," she said.
Ryan Reynolds has previously opened up about his mental health struggles.
During an exclusive interview with Page Six in October 2023, Reynolds spoke candidly about his mental health and revealed that he sometimes finds himself spinning "out of control" before admitting that he's "not always great" at maintaining healthy boundaries and solutions to his mental health.
"I certainly have my own little rituals and those kinds of things that help me stay grounded and keep my mind from spinning out of control," he told the news outlet. "Sometimes I’m really good at it, sometimes I’m not."
Reynolds added that when he becomes aware of those "out of control" moments, he meditates to "take time" and regroup. "I tend to overbook myself when I’m spiraling that way," he said. "I’m sort of aware of that stuff, and I manage it as well as you can."
"I’ve had anxiety my whole life, really, and you know, I feel like I have two parts of my personality. That one takes over when that happens," Reynolds explained during a February 2022 appearance on CBS' "Sunday Morning." The actor recalled how his feelings of anxiety would intensify before appearances on talk shows.
"I remember I’d be standing backstage before the curtain would open," he said. "And I would think to myself, 'I’m gonna die. I’m literally gonna die here. The curtain’s gonna open, and I’m just gonna be a symphony of vomit.' Just, like, something horrible’s gonna happen!"
Opening up about the steps he takes to make sure his anxiety doesn't overwhelm him, Reynolds noted that "as soon as that curtain opens" before he goes on stage, "this little guy takes over."
"And he’s like: 'I got this. You’re cool.' I feel, like, my heart rate drop and my breathing calm, and I just sort of go out, and I’m this different person. And I leave that interview going: 'God, I’d love to be that guy!'"
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.