The Beautiful Reason Why You 'Fall In Love' With Every Person You Meet
Often, it's all just you.
Shutterstock / Dean Drobot It's a common phenomenon for some people to feel like they "fall in love" with everyone they meet. Some people just create intense connections quickly.
But everyone who's experienced this phenomenon before seems to wonder, what's the reasoning behind it? Well, one woman's theory might be more self-reflective than one might assume.
The reason why you 'fall in love' with every person you meet is because you love yourself.
Abbie Chatfield is a former Bachelor Australia runner-up and host of FBoy Island Australia. She recently provided an insightful perspective in response to a joke posted to TikTok by a woman, Brenna Berg.
“You know the reason you fall in love with every guy you meet is because you're great, right?” Berg said.
Chatfield shared her personal experience and a profound realization that may help others understand why they, too, seem to develop deep feelings often.
Chatfield began her explanation by sharing a past experience in which she found herself utterly "obsessed" with a man. According to her, she was convinced that there was something unique about him that could not be matched by anyone else.
"I was obsessed with this guy. Obsessed. And I was at my therapist I was like, 'I won't find anyone like him...I just had so much fun with him,'" she said.
Her fascination led her to seek professional help from a therapist, where she underwent an enlightening exercise that eventually helped unravel the truth behind these strong emotions.
In order to understand what exactly drew her towards this man so powerfully, Chatfield's therapist asked her to list down all memorable instances of interesting or funny moments shared between them — specifically those that made her feel particularly connected or attracted towards him.
"She told me to write down every instance I could remember where it was an interesting or funny moment and then figure out who started that conversation or that joke," she said.
This exercise brought forth an unexpected revelation. After reflecting on these moments and critically analyzing each situation as per the instructions given by her therapist, it dawned upon Chatfield that most of those conversations or jokes were initiated by none other than herself. "And they were all entirely me," she said.
This observation led Abbie Chatfield towards a crucial understanding — that oftentimes when we think we're falling for someone because of their humor or their intellectuality, in reality, we might just be appreciating our own reflections mirrored back at us through these interactions.
Abbie highlighted how this realization has since changed how she sees relationships and perceived affection.
"And that's what I do with everyone now," she said.
She continued explaining how whenever she finds herself growing fond of someone new now, she makes sure to step back and assess whether it is indeed the other individual who is inciting those captivating moments of connection or if it is merely herself being reflected back through them.
Ethan Cotler is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango living in Boston. His writing covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.