The Psychological Reason So Many People Have Such Strong Negative Reactions To The Couple Sharing Their ‘Love Surge’ Moment
Some things should be kept behind closed doors.
Iomis/Nakaridore/9nong/Mavo - Shutterstock Everyone loves to love, and seeing others in loving bliss can easily turn a person’s frown upside down and give them hope that their person is still out there waiting for them.
But one couple who decided to share their ‘love surge’ moment didn’t exactly get the reaction they might have anticipated.
In a TikTok video shared by a woman named Liliana Wilde, she starts by asking viewers if they “want to see the cringiest, most couply thing ever?”
She then proceeds to explain what she and her partner call a “love surge.”
According to Wilde, a "love surge" is a condition where they have built up so much love in their ‘limbs’ that they absolutely must release it, or they might explode.
Her mate, Sean, apparently in the midst of a love surge, begins to tremor before wrapping his arms around her, causing Liliana to do the same. Eventually, they reach ‘peak’ surge and stretch their arms out in triumph.
You might be able to come up with a few other productive ways to find relief when your love ‘surges’, but to each his or her own.
The video caused a lot of mixed feelings.
In one reaction video, a woman named “Ceecee Jacobsen” said, “Heterosexuals need to stop flaunting your unnatural lifestyle right now.” Of course, her commentary was in jest, and she titled her response video “Okay, but in reality, I think it’s cute and I kind of want it.”
The comments were a mix of viewers agreeing that the couple was doing too much and others wishing they had someone to ‘love surge’ with.
Another woman, “Jaki” shared her own reaction to the video using facial expressions and body language. She simply stared into the camera with a look of disgust as she watched the pair’s corny coupling before pretending that she was going to be sick at the end of the video.
However, she, too, added a positive message in her caption, saying, “No, but really, good for your guys.”
Why do people react so negatively to ‘love surges’ and other public displays of affection?
There are five types of people who witness a couple’s PDA and have a strong reaction; those who love it, those who hate it, those who pretend to hate it but secretly love it, those who pretend to love it but secretly hate it, and those who are simply uncomfortable.
But for the ones who have a negative response, there are five big reasons for it. Licensed Clinical Social Worker Sean Grover shared some of the reasons people resent seeing happy couples being affectionate in a Psychology Today article.
1. Their love represents something you are missing in your life.
The first reason is simple jealousy. You don’t have to wish misfortune on anyone, but you do wish you had someone to wrap their arms around you when you need it most.
2. You realize you want your own happy, healthy relationship.
Sharing your love publicly puts you in a vulnerable position, one that requires two healthy partners. You might realize that you and your mate are missing the ability to open up and share your love with the world.
3. You are lonely.
Seeing other people in the company of those who love them can awaken feelings of loneliness and isolation within you.
4. You think they are seeking attention.
When couples overshare, especially on social media, some people believe that they might be looking for attention and validation from the outside world. Those who are truly in love don’t need to prove it.
5. You don’t believe the hype.
No couple is perfect. Seeing people share just the good moments can lead you to believe they are not ‘keeping it real’, especially if you happen to know otherwise.
As most things seem to, your own reaction to displays of affection may have to do with your childhood.
"If our parents displayed affection in the home while we were growing up, it becomes quite normal to us, and the way they viewed PDA depicts the way we view and judge it as we get older," life coach Grace McMahon told Stylist. “So, if your parents were those loved-up gushing folks who loved to embarrass you with a snog (gross), then you’re more likely to be open to PDA as it feels quite normal to you. If your parents were slightly more private, it might feel stranger, and possibly even disgusting to you.”
Whatever your preference or aversion to PDA may be, it's important to let couples do as they please.
Unfortunately, this couple's "love surge" received so much backlash the original creator was brought to tears. While she admitted that she had a sense of humor and could take so much joking, others took it way too far. In a follow-up video, she revealed that some people wished they would cheat on each other or she'd experience assault.
Every relationship is different, and as long as no one is hurting anyone else or being wildly inappropriate in public, PDA is no reason to threaten anyone.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.