A Photographer Explains Why He Doesn't Edit His Wife In His Own Family Photos The Way He Edits His Clients
What's more important: the life you've built together, or their physical appearance?
RawPixel / Shutterstock A photographer on TikTok recently posted a video where he references the way he views his wife and the work he puts into his photography/editing skills.
He stitched the clip from the podcasters and, during their conversation, one man claims that if his wife were to let go of herself after they had kids, he would tell her that he’s out.
Failing to recognize that our bodies are constantly changing — especially a woman’s after giving birth — this cold statement shocked the photographer who was confused as to how or why he would say that, considering the way he feels about his own wife.
The photographer admitted that he edits his wife’s photos differently than his clients'.
Before we jump to conclusions, he acknowledges that he never even realized he edited his wife’s photos differently until his wife pointed it out to him.
“I do portrait photography, and, uh, my wife once asked me why I don't edit her photos the way I edit my client photos, and I didn't know what she was talking about,” he explained in his post.
What she was referring to was the way he edited out everyone’s flaws. When working with clients and as a photographer, the goal is to make as close to a perfect picture as possible, but according to his wife, he never seemed to do that with hers — but there’s a reason for that.
“I was like, ‘I remove, I… I do the same to yours.’ And she's like, ‘no, you don't,’ and it took me a while to realize that I can't edit her photos because there are no flaws,” he says.
The men in the podcast seemed to have no problem abandoning their wives after giving birth to their children all because of some weight gain, but this photographer, whose job it is to take a perfect picture, already sees his wife as the perfect picture.
“Every flaw that she sees is part of our history,” he continues explaining. “Everything she doesn't like about herself reminds me of our three beautiful children, and I just can't fathom thinking the way this guy in this video thinks.”
Photo: RDNE Stock project / Pexels
As he explains, without ever realizing it, why he never edits his wife in the same way he edits his clients, he gets incredibly emotional. He’s on the verge of tears as he takes up the task of imagining a world in which he would do that — leave his wife because she "let herself go."
He had to take a moment to compose himself because of how strongly he felt about it, and his explanation reached the hearts of many in the comments.
The top comment reads, “That's the most beautiful thing I've heard a man say.” Someone else shared, “This is the love everyone deserves.” A third person wrote, “It's very simple, you love your wife. The other guy can't even conceive of real love.”
Partners 'letting themselves go' is a real issue people deal with, but it shouldn’t be.
It doesn’t just happen to women — both men and women let themselves go for any number of reasons. Some argue that, because they’re off the dating market, they no longer have to worry about putting in the work to keep their appearances up.
Other reasons point to how difficult it gets to keep up your appearance the older you get. Your metabolism will start to slow down a ton once you’ve hit your 20s, and it will only go down from there.
But for their partners, the issue becomes clear. It becomes a question of physical attraction and the things you choose to prioritize in your relationships.
In one help column called Talk About Marriage, many people suggested that partners are justified in getting angry with their partners for letting themselves go, so long as they work together to communicate it and try things to keep up their appearances for each other.
There are a number of reasons why someone might put less effort into their appearance than they used to, but it shouldn’t change the love that you feel for them (barring any real health concerns).
Photo: Alyssa Swedick / Pexels
As the photographer pointed out, all of the things that his wife might consider as flaws, he sees as part of their history and their time together. It reminds him of their kids and their lives, and that’s beauty in and of itself.
Of course, every relationship is different, and if your relationship or marriage is predicated on staying fit and in shape, then maybe that’s your thing, but for many others, what’s under the surface matters a whole lot more.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.