Mother Admits That She Regrets Having A Baby Because She Misses Watching Netflix
She yearns for the days when her child will be more self-sufficient and hopes that the parenting experience becomes easier over time.
aslysun, xalien / Shutterstock A new mom got real while expressing her feelings about motherhood. The conflicted woman reveals that while her baby is overall well-behaved, she misses the simplicity of her life before welcoming a child into it, and many other mothers can relate.
The mother admits that she regrets having a baby and misses being able to spend time alone watching Netflix.
In a now-deleted post on the U.K.-based parenting forum, Mumsnet, the mother-of-one reflects on her life before the baby, which consisted of traveling, being able to work from home, enjoying nature, having alone time, and bingeing a lot of Netflix.
The woman claims that she cannot “shake the feeling of regret” even though she describes her 10-month-old baby daughter as “lovely, sweet, and independent.”
While she loves her child “more than anything in the world,” the new mother says she is not a fan of parenting due to the fear of “the constant sense of responsibility,” having to always be alert, and is expected to entertain a tiny human 24/7. “I constantly worry about something bad happening to her,” she confesses.
Photo: Arsenil Palivoda / Shutterstock
The mournful woman adds that she cannot stop looking back on her once “peaceful” life in the midst of the demanding roles of motherhood, and wonders if she will “always regret the loss” of her old life.
“I know having an older child will bring its own difficulties, but I’m wondering if I’ll enjoy it more once I can reason with her a bit and she can entertain herself more,” the woman wrote. She asks other parents if they have felt the same way, and if their lives improved over time.
Thankfully, she is not alone in her thoughts, and other mothers reported having similar feelings after having children.
“I felt all those things you do and I was an older mum who liked my lazy a– ways,” one Mumsnet user shared. “I don't think it's so much the baby as the grieving for your old life.”
“People (including me when I was young and inexperienced) think that you can have a baby and carry on with the life you had before, Er, no,” another user commented. “Pregnancy and giving birth, as well as nurturing a baby, affect your chemistry. A mother is born at the same time as a baby. You are a different person.”
Others revealed that, for them, parenting did get easier as time went on.
“It gets much easier when you can communicate with them two ways. It won't be like this forever, I promise,” one user wrote. “Once you don't have to watch every single thing they do, and they actually want to do quite fun things with you, it definitely gets better,” another user shared.
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, and some new moms will most likely wonder why they even did it in the first place.
A 2021 YouGov poll found that one in 12 British parents (around 12%) regretted their decision to have children.
New mothers find themselves constantly juggling their baby’s needs, getting them on a proper sleeping and eating schedule, all while missing their own meals and sleeping themselves.
They are also often expected to be the primary caregivers of their families, keeping up with household chores, cooking meals, and ensuring that everything else in the house is running smoothly.
Photo: Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
According to “Exhausted Parents,” a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, it was discovered that nearly 13% of mothers suffer from “high burnout” and exhaustion as a result of their seemingly endless responsibilities. This can lead to more serious consequences including anxiety and depression.
Luckily, there are readily available resources that may make the motherhood journey easier. Overwhelmed women who are having difficulties enjoying parenthood may seek the help of licensed counselors, go on medication to ease their anxieties, and have extra hands that are willing to help out with the children, such as grandparents and babysitters.
It is also important to note that motherhood is not for everyone, and that is completely okay! Raising children may not be appealing to all women, and is totally acceptable to focus on your other life goals and interests.
If you are a struggling new mother, help is available. Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-9-HELP4MOMS (1-833-943-5746) for more information.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.