Woman Asks For Advice After Her Boyfriend Gets Jealous Of The Better-Looking Men She Sees At Work — Even Though They're Dead
Most of us have had a partner who gets jealous of our coworkers, but it's a little different when you work as a mortician.
Most of us, at one time or another, have had a jealous partner who was insecure about the people we work with. Maybe they don't like that we're working on a project with a good-looking guy or gal, or think we're just a bit too friendly with our lunchmate.
But one woman's boyfriend is taking things to a whole other level, and she has no idea what to do about it.
The woman's boyfriend is jealous of the men she sees at work — who are dead, because she's a mortician.
Jealous boyfriends are a dime a dozen, and the internet is full of stories about them. And this woman's boyfriend could easily be one of those run-of-the-mill insecure boyfriends. As she said in her post, "There are many cases where he has acted jealous at the sight/thought of me having a genuine interaction with another man."
And, to be fair, her boyfriend's issues aren't without explanation. As she wrote in her post, he has a lot of trauma that has made it difficult for him to form trusting relationships, including "being abandoned by his parents, groomed, and cheated on."
"This has left him with severe attachment issues," she said, and, "he is constantly jealous and worried that I am cheating or lying to him." But lately, things have escalated in a bizarre way as she's begun training for her dream career as a mortician.
Her boyfriend is worried that she will be more attracted to the dead men she works on as a mortician than she is to him.
Of all the potential reasons a woman's boyfriend is jealous of the men she sees at work, that's probably the last one any of us would expect. And his specific anxieties about it are on another level still.
"He made a comment about how me seeing another man with a larger d--- would make him sad," she wrote. Understandly, "this disgusted me for many reasons," chief among them that he is "sexualizing my job."
"But he’s also showing insecurity and jealousy again over a dead body." And when she confronted him about how "weird" that is, he doubled down and "even implied that I would be jealous if he saw a dead naked woman who had a fatter a-- than me."
"Now this genuinely left me in shock," she went on to say, which seems like an understatement. "I felt truly disgusted by him... and literally can’t process why he would say something like that." But, she's in love and this is the only aspect of their relationship that is problematic.
People on Reddit felt like this woman was setting herself up for heartache, and that her boyfriend needed to get help for his trust and attachment issues.
It's true, attachment issues can wreak havoc on relationships. As therapist Jeff Guenther, known as TherapyJeff on YouTube and TikTok, says in the video below, an anxious attachment style like this woman's boyfriend exhibits is not their fault — it stems from the way people are raised and the relationships they have with their parents.
But Guenther says it's important to work through these issues in order to have secure relationships. He recommends therapy in order to learn how to have healthy self-esteem and advocate for your own emotional needs in healthy ways.
People on Reddit definitely agreed, and they urged this young woman not to take that work on herself. As one Redditor put it, "someone else's insecurity is a problem that you can't fix."
And they urged the young woman not to give into her boyfriend's bizarre insecurities about her job. "You conforming to behavior like that only leads to them being controlling," the person wrote. "The insecurity will always resurface and so they'll try to restrict you further to feel more secure again.
That seems like good advice, especially when someone's insecurities go so deep that they're worried about competing with the dead. It's probably best to leave it to the professionals.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.