Mom Worries About Her 8-Year-Old Daughter Living At Her Dad's House Because She Sleeps On The Couch With Multiple Strangers In The House
She should have her own room, in general, but especially when there are other people living in the house.
fizkes / Shutterstock via Canva Pro After being separated for nearly seven years, a mom on Reddit decided that enough was enough and she needed to talk to someone about the way her ex-husband is co-parenting their nearly 9-year-old daughter.
Making a post on Reddit’s “r/Parenting” subreddit — a forum where parents can field their parenting questions and seek out advice — the mom asks other parents if she’s overreacting.
The mom is worried about her 8-year-old daughter not having a bedroom at her dad’s house.
“My ex-husband is not the best at being an adult,” she claims right at the start of her post. “We've been separated since our daughter was 2, she's nearly 9 now. We've had issues in the past with cleanliness... ensuring she has clean well-fitting clothes, brushes her teeth... a door on her bedroom.”
Most of these issues were able to be resolved on their own thanks to the young girl growing older and developing a little more independence, but new issues have cropped up as a result of some major life changes.
Photo: Reddit
After moving out of the house where her daughter didn’t have a bedroom door, the dad moved into a new home with his then-wife whom he separated from soon after — now, he has multiple roommates.
This wouldn’t be a problem if there weren’t a few glaring issues. “He has stopped letting me come pick her up at the end of his time with her and now drops her off (but always states this is out of convenience to me, like he's doing me a favor). He has not communicated that he has multiple roommates either, I hear it from my daughter,” the mom said.
But that’s not the end of her daughter’s report. “What's most alarming now is that she tells me a roommate has taken her room and her bed was disassembled and now she either sleeps in bed with her dad or on the couch. This feels so, so wrong to me.”
As to not muddy her daughter’s idea and perception of her father, the mom carefully maneuvers through her distaste for her ex’s parenting choices and says that the most important thing is that she’s happy and safe. Her daughter claimed that she was and that she actually enjoys sleeping on the couch.
The mom now wonders if she should get CPS involved and modify their custody arrangements.
This isn’t the only issue they’ve had and the woman's ex has made a decent amount of parenting mistakes. She explained some of them, like “coming home wearing his undershirts because he didn't have clothes for her. Not brushing her teeth all weekend. Having a sunburn from beach time with insufficient protection. But now — male strangers in the house and she doesn't have a room with a door??”
A child having their own room is very important for development. According to Room To Grow, “a child that has his or her own bedroom will be better able to handle responsibility and will mature faster than one that doesn’t.” It provides them with their own personal space where they govern themselves and their belongings.
Rooms provide privacy and safety, and can even be an important outlet for expressing personal interests through decorations. Also, a child this young shouldn't be out in the open while a bunch of strange men live there.
That’s generally what the people of Reddit had to say as well — that, normally, in a circumstance where there are no strangers in the home and she had to sleep on the couch because there were no other options, it would be okay. However, the opposite is the problem.
Photo: Reddit
Everyone suggested looking for a legal route out of this, which is exactly what the mom said she’d do.
“She actually also has an annual physical tomorrow and I've decided that instead of calling CPS right off I'm going to discuss with her dr and [see] if she believes the CPS reporting threshold has been crossed,” the mom added.
At the very least, she would be speaking with her lawyer to adjust their custody agreement. Hopefully, for the safety of their daughter, everything gets straightened out.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.