Mom Wonders Why Millennial Parents Are Having A Harder Time With Parenting — 'We're All Overstimulated & Complain All The Time'
A mom asked why her generation of parents struggle to raise their kids, and the answers show how widespread that feeling is.
Sergey Makashin / Pexels A mom wrote to Reddit to pose a question that resonated with other parents on the "r/parenting" subreddit. She relayed the experience of feeling constantly stressed out from parenting, despite having only one child.
The mom wondered why millennial parents seem to have a harder time parenting than past generations.
“Every time I talk to other toddler moms, a lot of the conversations are about how hard things are, how our kids annoy us, how we need our space, how we feel overstimulated,” she stated. “And we each have only one to two kids.”
“I keep wondering how moms in previous generations didn’t go crazy with 4, 5, or 6 kids," she said. "Did they talk about how hard it was? Did they know they were annoyed or struggling or were they just ok with their life and sucked it up?”
Photo: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels
She debated the possible reasons why modern moms are struggling, asking, “Are us millennial moms just complaining more because we had kids later in life? Is having a more involved partner letting us be aware of our needs?”
The mom described her personal challenges as a mom, stating, “I spent one weekend solo-parenting my 3.5-year-old and I couldn’t stand him by Sunday.”
Responses to the mom’s question acknowledged that parenting has always been hard — only now, those challenges are discussed more openly.
“These days, there is a lot less shame attached to bringing up that parenting is f-–king hard, people are being more honest about it. Which is really important,” said one parent. “My mother parented and suffered in silence, I love how we don't do that as much anymore.”
As another person explained, a complex facet of modern-day parenting is the prevalence of social media, something that’s created an entirely different atmosphere for parenting. They noted both the positive and negative repercussions of social media, stating, “Parents in the past didn't have the avenues we have to express and share their experiences.”
While seeing posts of other families on Instagram can help to normalize the trials and tribulations of raising kids, it also serves as a situation that’s rife for comparison. It's different now and we [have] the ability to talk about it,” they continued.
Photo: Taryn Elliott / Pexels
Someone else pointed to the changes in how millennials view and express issues around mental health compared to prior generations. “Us millennials will talk about our feelings and struggles and emotional needs,” they explained. “We are very mental health-focused, which was not really the case in our parents’ generation.”
One person explained that the pressure on today’s parents to 'do it all' is the reason behind widespread parental burnout.
As they explained, “Our generation of mothers are trying to do it all, plan [and] cook healthy meals, supervise our children at all times, play [and] read stories [and] do creative crafts [and] messy play with our children, gentle parent, monitor screen time, educate, while most of us work full-time jobs. And a lot of us don't have the help of 'the village'... so everyone's burnt out.”
Another person echoed that sentiment, pointing out that the isolation parents experience is unprecedented.
“The idea of one adult being 100% responsible for the feeding, cleaning, health and safety of 2+ kids AT ALL TIMES has not really been normal at any point in history,” they stated.
“Having nuclear families living alone, with brand new parents of young children expecting and receiving very little or no support from family or neighbors is an anomaly across time and culture,” said someone else. “It doesn’t make sense to do this all alone and yet we expect new moms and dads with little experience to basically just figure it out themselves.”
The millennial mom who’s struggling to parent is clearly not alone in her experience, as shown by the breadth and depth of responses she received.
It’s undeniable that parents need more support now than ever before. Being vocal about how hard parenting is is the first step in affecting change. For the sake of all parents who feel like they’re underwater, let’s hope those changes come soon.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.