Mom Accused Of Raising 'Entitled Adults' After Saying Her Kids Don't 'Owe' Her Anything Just Because She Gave Them Life
Many other parents agreed with how she is choosing to raise her children.
Miramiska / Shutterstock A mom revealed that she was shamed for explaining how she chose to raise her children.
Posting to the subreddit "r/parenting" — an online forum where people can get advice on the ups and downs of raising children — a mother of young children had been talking to someone in her life about the ways that she's trying to raise her children, especially when it comes to having gratitude and compassion, and how she never wants to guilt or manipulate them.
However, she was quickly criticized for raising her children to be the opposite of grateful.
She was told she's raising 'entitled adults' after saying she doesn’t want her children to feel they owe her anything.
In her Reddit post, she explained that she never wants her children to feel they "owe" her or have to "pay her back" for the things she does as their mother.
"I give them a house, food, clothing, love, etc., but those aren’t things I require to be 'paid back,'" she wrote. "My kids didn’t ask to be born, it’s my job to make sure they have what they need to survive and thrive. I will never hold providing those things against them."
Photo: Reddit
During a conversation with someone, she had reiterated all of that to them but was accused of trying to raise "entitled adults" who weren't going to be grateful for anything. However, the mom pointed out that it's actually the opposite of what she's doing.
"I am trying my best to make sure they are grateful that they have the things they have. Some kids don’t have a house, we are lucky to have one," she continued. As a parent, she confirmed that she's still trying to teach her children the importance of having gratitude and to have empathy for the people who have less than they do.
She even provided other examples, sharing that even when it comes to receiving gifts, she wants her children to also be grateful for things like that. "I expect them to tell the person 'thank you.' If they really don’t want the item, that’s an opportunity to give it to someone who has less than we do and can get use out of it."
However, she never wants her children to feel that they "owe" her anything, or should feel grateful for her when she's only doing the things for them that parents should be doing for their kids.
Every individual has the right to their own autonomy and life choices, even children.
Just because parents provide for their children's basic needs doesn't mean they should be able to control their children's decisions or make them feel obligated to follow a certain path and express gratitude to them.
In a world that often emphasizes transactional relationships, this mother's commitment to raising children who understand the value of empathy and compassion is the best way she raise her children. Her acknowledgment that her kids didn't ask to be born also speaks to the deep understanding she has of what comes from parenthood.
She's chosen to provide for them out of love and care, without attaching strings that could lead to resentment or a skewed sense of obligation.
Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
People agreed that she was doing right by her children by not guilting them into feeling grateful that she takes care of them.
"I agree with you — and I think the distinction you’re trying to make is that they should be grateful for what they have, but that doesn’t mean they have to be grateful to you just for being their parent," one Reddit user pointed out.
Another user added, "A while ago I tried to thank my parents for everything they have done for me. My mom said that I don't owe them anything. And she said if I decide to have children one day, I can pay back what my parents did for me by being a good mom myself."
"Your kids don't owe you anything for the basics of life. Feeding them, providing a roof, providing a safe loving environment. That's all stuff YOU signed up for and shouldn't get a cookie or a pat on the back for doing cause it's part of the job," a third user wrote.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.