Mom Refuses To Pay For Youngest Daughter To Go On Family Vacation Because Her Older Kids Pay For Themselves
She argues that paying your own expenses is part of being an adult. However, her daughter claims that her mother has always favored her sisters.
Song_about_summer / Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock A mom is facing backlash after sharing the details of her upcoming family vacation with her husband and three daughters.
The mother claims that she is requiring each of her children to cover their own expenses in order to go on the trip, something that her youngest daughter argues is “unfair” since she does not have the same financial income as her older sisters.
Her mom argues that she is an adult and is capable of paying for herself to go on vacation. Now, she's asking others if she's being reasonable.
The mom is not allowing her youngest daughter to come on the family vacation unless she can pay for herself.
Sharing her story to the AITA subreddit, the 47-year-old woman reveals that she has three daughters: 26-year-old Hannah, 24-year-old Hope, and 18-year-old Hailey. Hannah and Hope are both married, with Hannah having three children and Hope pregnant with her first child. Hailey is single.
The woman shares that every year around Christmas time, she and her family would go on a vacation. However, ever since Hannah got married eight years ago, she and her husband have not gone on family vacations. Hope got married soon after that at 18 years old, and did the same.
“They both work now, and their husbands have good jobs too,” the mother says of her two eldest daughters. This year, the woman and her husband planned a vacation to Mexico. Although it was originally supposed to be just the two of them embarking on the trip, Hope asked if she and her husband could join.
Photo: Netfalls Remy Musser / Shutterstock
“Of course, we let them come, as they were paying for their own trip,” the woman wrote. “Hannah and her husband decided to come (and pay) as well, and left their kids with her hubby's parents.”
After learning that her whole family would now be going on the trip, Hailey decided that she wanted to come along as well. Although, her mother confessed that will not allow her youngest daughter to do so unless she pays for her vacation expenses since her sisters are paying their own.
“This was already during a bit of a contentious period since both of her sisters were married by now and she isn't interested, but we're not that type of parents,” the woman wrote. “We told her that she, too, could come if she must, but she would have to pay for her own vacation.”
Additionally, Hailey would have to pay for her own room since it was supposed to be a 'couples’ vacation.
“But Hailey, instead of being glad that we welcomed her along, is calling me an [expletive] for making her pay, since she is paying for uni and only has a fast food job, with no second income,” the woman wrote. “In my opinion, both of her sisters are paying, despite having children to prepare for/take care of.”
Hailey offered to pay for half of her expenses, although her mother rejected her request, giving her an “all-or-nothing ultimatum.” The woman’s frustrated daughter accused her of favoring her older sisters, something the woman claims is “blatantly untrue.”
“Both of her sisters agree with me, that if she wants to come to our vacation, she must pay her own,” the woman revealed. “However, my husband says that we should take her up on her half-offer since she isn't in as good of a financial situation as my other girls.”
The woman believes that since Hailey is now an adult, one of the “simple truths of not being married yet” is having to cover your expenses on your own. She encouraged her daughter to start “thinking about her future.” The woman adds that Hailey is now refusing to come along on the vacation.
Photo: Gladskikh Tatiana / Shutterstock
Most people believed that the woman was being unfair for not helping her youngest daughter pay for the vacation.
Many Redditors pointed out that Hailey was only 18 and in college, and was not in the same financial situation as her sisters, and that did not mean she should be barred from the vacation unless she could pay.
“Your daughter is 18. She's a college freshman. Of course, she doesn't have money to pay for a foreign vacation,” one user commented. “And as for your vile toxic 'think of your future' garbage, she is thinking of her future. That's why she's in college getting an education. Her future doesn't have to be secured by latching on to some man at the earliest possible moment.”
“She’s in school and she’s working. She’s 18. She offered to pay half. That seems very reasonable,” another user noted. “You think Hailey should be married at 18 or she’s a loser? Because that’s what you’re insinuating with your ‘simple truths of not being married’ [expletive].”
“Excluding your daughter and basically saying that you should be married at 18 so you can have someone to go halfsies with for vacations. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough,” another user wrote.
Others noted that it appeared as though the mother was unfairly singling out her daughter for being unmarried.
While it is non-debatable that the woman is being unfair to her youngest daughter by forcing her to pay for her entire family vacation expenses at just 18 years old with a part-time job while in school, she is also being unreasonable for imposing the expectation that she would not have to pay as much if she were married.
By doing so, she is subtly implying that she expects her youngest to be married simply because her older sisters were when they were her age. It appears as if the mother is punishing her daughter by refusing to pay for at least a portion of her vacation expenses since she is not married, and labels the family trip as a “couples’ vacation,” singling out her single daughter.
However, marriage is not for everyone and some of us certainly will not have it on our radar as we enter adulthood, and that is valid. Attempting to live up to certain ideals that our parents hold us to will only infringe upon our happiness and well-being.
Hailey is exactly where she needs to be, as long as she is happy and content with her life choices, despite what her mother may think.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.