Mom Explains Why She Never Wants Anyone To Refer To Her As A 'Supermom'
Being called a "supermom" isn't the compliment many mothers want to hear.
@thatdarncat / TikTok When one thinks of a mother, she is often seen as the one juggling the most responsibilities, holding the family together, and going above and beyond no matter what. While a role like that is often revered by some people, one woman, Laura Danger, shared in a TikTok video that she refuses to be known as the mother who does it all and doesn't appreciate the pressure and stigma that surrounds a mother who is expected to put 100% of her energy into everything.
She explained why she refuses to be labeled as a 'supermom.'
Danger, a Chicago-based mother-of-two, who works as an educator and podcaster, informed viewers why she would "fight anyone in the streets" who refers to her as a "supermom."
"I am not a supermom. I never want to be a supermom. I never want anyone to refer to me as 'so strong. Jack of all trades. We literally couldn’t do it without her. If you weren’t here, everything would fall apart,'" Danger began in her video.
She continued, pointing out that she doesn't ever want to be an essential part of any organization, group, or even her family, where everything falls on her shoulders to fix or keep up with. In many families, when the mother is the one doing all of the work, it indicates an imbalance that Danger refuses to be a part of.
"I want to be important enough that I matter. I want to bring something to the table. But I do not want to be the one sustaining anything," she stressed. "I do not want to be so strong. I want to live a life of ease. I want to be empowered to rest. I am not a supermom. I will never be a super mom.”
Danger insisted that if a mother is the one having to keep everything together in a family, then that role was never going to be sustainable in the long run.
Women being referred to as a 'supermom' only sets unrealistic expectations for what a mother should be doing.
As Danger explained in her video, the term 'supermom' only puts immense pressure on mothers to constantly perform at an extraordinarily high level, which can be mentally and physically taxing. Mothers are also the ones who face and experience the most parental burnout. According to the 2023 State of Motherhood data, nearly half (49%) of all moms report feeling burned out by motherhood.
The idea of being a "supermom" often glorifies self-sacrifice and downplays the importance of self-care. Mothers are often forced to prioritize the needs of their family to the detriment of their own well-being, leading to stress, and exhaustion.
It's important that mothers, like everyone else, have their own dreams, aspirations, and interests that go beyond their role as parents.
Many other mothers agreed with Danger's opinion.
In the comments sections, people acknowledged that it can be extremely exhausting trying to keep everything afloat while also attempting to keep themselves afloat as well.
"It is so exhausting & mentally draining. My spouse is military so he can’t step up as much… we are both counting the days until retirement," one TikTok user shared.
Another user added, "I thought for so long that this is what I HAD to be. I actually strived to be the one to hold everything together and be so strong."
"Had this [conversation] with my mom. She was saying how strong I was, how she couldn't manage without me. I don't want to be strong, I want to be okay!" a third user exclaimed.
Many moms would prefer to be recognized for their individual efforts as well as their identities outside of being a parent. The term "supermom" only works to diminish the recognition and importance of sharing responsibilities in a household.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.