Mom Refuses To Let Her 25-Year-Old Daughter Move Back Home To Save Money Because 'She Needs To Learn To Take Care Of Herself'
Her daughter even offered to pay rent to live at home.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels A mother is being called "the worst" after she told her adult daughter she wasn't allowed to move back in with her.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA" — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that her daughter moved out three years ago with her boyfriend and the two got an apartment.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, though, her 25-year-old daughter has now asked to move back in with her parents.
Her mom refuses to let her daughter move back home despite her daughter's landlord increasing rent by 40%.
In her post, she explained that her daughter and her boyfriend had been together for four years before they decided to move in together. "It wasn't like she ran off with some guy she just met. We supported her decision, she was old enough and working full-time," she wrote.
However, the rent in the area they live in has increased, and her daughter's landlord recently raised her rent by more than 40% in the span of three months. Now, she and her boyfriend are unable to continue living in their apartment. "The issue is they weren't exactly swimming in cash before that, they don't really have enough for first last and security with the market, not that there's much in their price range."
As a solution, the woman's daughter and her boyfriend decided to move back in with his parents for several months while they saved up more money to move back out, but her boyfriend's parents refused to take her in as well.
So they proposed an idea, she'd move back in with her parents, him with his parents, and they'd save up and be gone in 6 months tops.
She and her husband, however, find it "inappropriate" to let their 25-year-old daughter move back in with them, arguing that she is an adult who needs to "learn to take care of herself" and not rely on "handouts from her parents."
Their daughter even offered to pay rent while she lived with them, but their only condition to accept was if she "agreed to pay the market average plus her share of utilities." If their daughter was forced to pay that amount, it would mean she wouldn't be able to save up the amount of money she needs to move back out with her boyfriend.
Since they are not letting their daughter move back in, she is now being forced to share a two-bedroom apartment with six roommates, some of whom she says are "sketchy." "I feel for her, but I still think it's her responsibility. At this point, she doesn't call much anymore and I'm worried this may have impacted our relationship."
Most Reddit users who commented on the woman's post agreed that she was in the wrong.
"Your daughter is an adult, but she's still your daughter? She's not relying on handouts. She's offered to pay rent," one person wrote. "You're really gonna charge her the market average to live at home? She even gave you a timeline. I think you're being unreasonable."
Another added, "You think you're teaching her a life lesson. What you're actually doing is abandoning your child and exposing her to harm."
"Your daughter seems to be a very responsible woman," a third chimed in. "She moved out after being together with her partner for over 4 years and has a full-time job to support her own family and to live [at] home. How is she ever getting on her own feet again if you behave like that."
A fourth remarked, "She probably feels alone and betrayed and you, her mother, made her feel that way. Congratulations, you taught her not to rely on you."
Parents of adult children often struggle to find the balance between support and wanting their children to learn life lessons
This mother's decision to refuse her daughter's request to move back home has sparked intense debate. While some empathize with the daughter's plight and view the parents' stance as unsympathetic, others see it as a tough but necessary lesson in adult responsibility.
The crux of the issue lies in differing views on the role of parents in supporting adult children during times of hardship. While some advocate for unconditional support, others emphasize the importance of fostering independence and self-sufficiency, even at the expense of short-term comfort. This case highlights the complex dynamics at play within families navigating financial challenges and underscores the subjective nature of parental decision-making in such scenarios.
Ultimately, the discussion serves as a reminder of the diverse perspectives surrounding familial obligations and the nuanced considerations involved in striking a balance between support and autonomy within parent-child relationships.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, human interest stories, social justice issues, and trending topics.