Mom Leaves Her Baby For An Hour Since She's 'Rarely Alone' Anymore & Wonders If She's Wrong For Ignoring Her Husband's Criticism
Everyone, including mothers, deserves self-care and time for themselves. This is something that her husband is failing to recognize.
Anna Shvets / Pexels, Junelle Apuya / Sparklestroke via CanvaPro It is no secret that many mothers love their children more than life itself. It is also no secret that they desperately need a break from their children every once in a while.
It’s common sense that no one can give 100% of their energy and dedication to something if they are neglecting to take some time to unwind for themselves. The same applies to motherhood.
When one mother decided to give herself an hour away from her infant leaving him with her husband, he was perplexed as to why she needed a break in the first place. Now, she is struggling with feelings of guilt for asking him for a break in the first place.
The mother says that she is ‘rarely alone’ after having her first baby.
Sharing her story on the U.K.-based painting forum, Mumsnet, the woman asked other users if she was being unreasonable for wanting some time away from her baby.
She began her post by revealing that she is a first-time mom to a four-month-old baby girl, whom she loves spending time with. Her husband works a high-stress job while she is a stay-at-home mom to their daughter.
“Since my husband went back to work after paternity I’ve been with her constantly,” the mother wrote. “He works a high-stress job and wants to unwind when he gets home or she is already asleep by the time he gets in.”
While the woman claims that her husband is an “active” father, she cannot help but feel a bit of resentment toward him since she does not have as much downtime at home as he does. “I rarely have time to myself, I don’t have time for activities on my own anymore and I’m getting fed up with my husband telling me how tired he is when I barely get half an hour to myself anymore,” she admitted.
When her husband returns home from work in the evenings and his shift is over, her day is far from finished. She takes full charge of the cooking and cleaning around the house, even after the baby is asleep for the night. When her husband does step in to help care for their daughter and the woman gets some downtime, it is usually interrupted within minutes after he calls her to help him with something.
One day, the mother reached her burnout breaking point and decided to take an hour for herself.
She told her husband that she was leaving the house for a bit. “He asked me if I was taking our child and he seemed amused when I said no,” she wrote. His reaction made her feel guilty about needing a break in the first place, and now she is wondering if she is neglecting his feelings.
“I get he has a high-stress job but he doesn’t really get that I’m rarely alone at all anymore,” she shared.
Mumsnet users encouraged the mother to take her much-needed break and informed her not to feel guilty for needing it.
“You’re not being unreasonable at all. In fact, make it a regular thing. It will be good for you, and good for both your husband and baby to allow them to build a bond,” one user commented.
“You deserve a break. You deserve time away from your child and home to unwind. Time with friends. To let your hair down,” another user wrote. “Just because you’re a mum it doesn’t stop you from having a life. Yes, your priorities will have changed and your routine but it is absolutely reasonable and normal to be away from the baby for a few hours.”
Others criticized her husband for not stepping up and doing his fair share of parenting.
“He is perfectly capable of putting his child to bed or cooking a meal. You have both been working all day,” one user pointed out.
“I have a high-stress and long-hours job. I’m still capable of looking after my baby. There are basic things like whoever doesn’t do bath and bedtime tidies around the house and gets dinner ready. He needs to give you breaks in a way that works for you both,” another user shared. “Looking after a baby is a lot more exhausting than working full time. He needs to experience it to know it. Make him step up now or you are setting yourself up for a life of misery.”
Just like work burnout, “mom burnout” is common and affects mothers who are the primary caregivers of their children. A study conducted by the Ohio State University found that 68% of mothers experience burnout and need a break from their responsibilities.
There is nothing to feel shame about needing some time for yourself, even if you are a mother. Your baby will be fine for a little while without you, and they deserve a mother who is refreshed, and happy and recognizes the importance of self-care.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.