Mom Doesn't Regret Sharing A Video Of Her 11-Year-OId Daughter Throwing A Tantrum Despite Comments Saying She Should 'Throw Her Away'
She acknowledged that her daughter's behavior can't just be fixed by some "good old-fashioned parenting."
@90smarilynm / TikTok A mother shared the bleak reality of living with her 11-year-old daughter who suffers from a severe mental illness that drastically affects her mood. In a TikTok video, Marilyn posted a glimpse into the type of outbursts that she deals with.
The mom defended her decision to post the video after receiving a barrage of hateful comments from viewers.
In Marilyn's video, she explained that her 11-year-old daughter suffers from disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) and will often throw tantrums brought on by her illness, which had happened recently after she lost privileges to her bathroom.
"My daughter has her own bathroom. She just lost the ability to use that bathroom because she put another hole in the wall by slamming the door back," Marilyn said. While speaking, her daughter can be heard in the background pounding on her door and screaming.
Marilyn pointed out that there are two other bathrooms in their house, but that for the last ten minutes, her daughter has been screaming and throwing a tantrum, saying she needs to go to the bathroom despite having other options to do so.
It's a tough video to get through, especially upon noticing the tired and dejected expression on Marilyn's face as her daughter bellows right at her.
After uploading that video, Marilyn was hit with a wave of negative comments from viewers, claiming if she loved her daughter, she would "throw her away," send her to a mental institution, and was accused of being a "bad mom."
One video addressed a specific negative comment about how her daughter's behavior must be a learned attribute from an authority figure in her life.
Marilyn clarified that her daughter suffers from DMDD and these outbursts are fairly common in their house.
"My daughter is 11 and she has ADHD, DMDD, which is a mood disorder, and anxiety. We've been dealing with this for quite a while. It absolutely seems like manipulative behavior and it is because that is the nature of her illness," she said.
Marilyn acknowledged that her daughter's behavior can't just be fixed by some "good old-fashioned parenting," and that she's tried all different kinds of punishments, but nothing works because of the nature of her mental illness.
"That's why I'm struggling so much right now, and that's why things are so difficult. What happened today is typical of any given day," she continued. Marilyn explained that her daughter's outburst could be spurred by any small thing, including having to read five pages of a book for school, or not being allowed to go outside when she wants to. It's only made worse because she doesn't have the correct tools to calm herself down.
She stated that posting her daughter's outburst can help other parents who may have kids with the same disorder.
In another video addressing the hateful messages about her daughter and the decision to post her outburst on social media, Marilyn proved that the reason she chooses to share such personal moments is because she knows it will help other parents who may be going through the same thing with their kids.
On top of the negative comments, she has received a slew of positive ones as well. "I've also received a lot of really good moments, a lot of supportive comments. A lot of people who understand what I'm going through, a lot of people who now maybe understand what they're going through."
Marilyn explained that she's a widow and doesn't have many other family relatives close by.
Dealing with a child who has DMDD is a lonely experience, and there is no right way to go about parenting someone experiencing a disorder like that.
But as Marilyn mentioned, she loves her daughter endlessly and will do anything and everything to care for her.
By posting and talking about her daughter's mental illness, she's forming a community of people who may be going through the same thing, and therefore, aiding in the feeling of loneliness that she must have from such an isolating reality.
"I'm not giving up on her," Marilyn stressed. "I'm not invading her privacy, I'm not preventing her from using [the bathroom]. She's patching up the walls today. Today has been a much better day, but that's the nature of this illness. It's back and forth, it's up and down."
DMDD has is extremely common in children and adolescents.
According to the National Institute of Health, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) is a condition in which children or adolescents experience persistent irritability and anger and frequent, intense temper outbursts. While many children can go through periods of moodiness, children with DMDD specifically experience severe symptoms and often have significant problems at home and school.
Kati Morton, a licensed marriage and family therapist, explained in a TikTok video that people who struggle with DMDD are "extremely irritable" and often find themselves having "verbal or physical outbursts."
"It's important to note that this is a childhood diagnosis and is diagnosed in children between the ages of 6 and 10, so if you find your child struggling with or you personally have had difficulties know that there is a name for it and there is help available," Morton said.
As Morton mentioned, the official website for education, research, and support for anyone struggling with DMDD offers support groups to anyone who may feel overwhelmed and alone from dealing with this disorder either themselves or with someone else.
If you're a parent whose child may be struggling with DMDD, the official Facebook page, Parents of Children with DMDD Support Group, can offer a safe space to vent, ask questions, or just connect with other parents who are going through the same experiences that you are.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.