Man Disagrees With Wife's Plan To Take Away Daughter’s Door After He Walked In On Her And Her Boyfriend
I didn't know people were still this old-fashioned.
fizkes / Shutterstock.com A 47-year-old man thought his 44-year-old wife went a little overboard with punishments and yelling at their daughter after he walked in on his daughter and her boyfriend having sex.
Their daughter is 19 years old and in college, but that didn’t stop the mother from completely going into overdrive and taking her phone away, yelling at her for over an hour, and banning her boyfriend from the house, before threatening to take the door away.
The husband, in retaliation, told her that she was overreacting, prompting her to yell at him too and get his in-laws involved in the situation, so now he’s unsure of whether he did the right thing or not.
Is he wrong for telling his wife that he was overreacting and helping out his daughter?
After being dug out by his wife and his in-laws, he went where any sane person would go to sort out their troubles — the subreddit “r/AmItheA--hole,” or AITA for short.
The subreddit, which has 3.5 million followers and one of the most active userbases on the platform, is a thread for exactly what it sounds like — to tell a person whether or not their role in a certain situation makes them an a--hole and to give them a rating based on the stranger’s opinion.
A lot of people pointed out the weird intro that the father gave in order to provide some context to the situation.
“A bit of background. I caught our daughter having sex with her boyfriend a few days ago, and she begged me not to tell our wife, but I felt that she deserved to know,” he started.
“We pay for our daughter’s college because I worked 70 hours a week for many years to have enough money for her to go to college.”
While some people pointed out that his wife didn’t need to know anything about their daughter’s sex life, I disagree solely for the fact that it’s something that happened under their roof and the father and the mother are married — he has to tell his wife that something happened, lest her be the one who catches them in the act only to find out he already knew.
The weird part of this is the mention that they pay for their daughter’s college tuition, as it has absolutely nothing to do with the story and is a tactic used by parents to try and employ a sense of power and rule over their adult (19 years old, as a reminder) daughter.
Aside from that, the real root of the post and the reason why the father believes that he is indeed, the a--hole, is the resulting situation after his wife yelled at their daughter.
“I told her that she is overreacting, and she yelled at me, too. I had given our daughter her phone back when my wife went to the grocery store,” he continued,
“She found out and is angry about that, too. She told my in-laws about this, and now they are blowing up my phone and telling me that I’m encouraging underage pregnancy and premarital sex.”
First of all, underage? She’s 19 years old. If they mean she’s under the age that they’re okay with allowing her to be pregnant, that’s a different issue, but last time I checked, a 19-year-old is a legal adult in the United States, and a lot of countries in the world.
But also, premarital sex? Are we still in the 50s? Anyway, the comment section is surprisingly very divided in whether or not they should give the father a YTA rating.
“This is 2022 not the 1950’s, your wife and her family need to understand that healthy sexual expression is fine, what’s needed is good (non judgmental) sex education, discussions about birth control and consent,” said a comment that gave the NTA rating.
It’s not the father’s fault that his wife completely flipped out and went overboard. Sure, he’s the one who told her, but they’re married, there’s some kind of obligation there.
“ESH [everyone sucks here] except your daughter,” said another top comment. “You for talking about your daughter's sex life to your wife when it's none of her business. Your wife and your in-laws for treating that young woman like a 9 year old instead of a 19 year old.”
After some edits from the original poster saying that he and his wife didn’t have sex until they were married but he had no problem with premarital sex, he apologized to his daughter and offered to help her move out and pay for her new rent, and that his daughter and her boyfriend were actually having sex in the living room when he was getting home from the grocery store. Yikes.
A lot of the YTA ratings were because people believe that he shouldn’t have told the wife in the first place, but in terms of disagreeing for the punishments and how she reacted, there’s a resounding NTA.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.