Man Wants Ex To Stop Buying Their Kids Expensive Gifts Because His New Wife & Kids Are Jealous
Maybe his new wife should get a job.
Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock When couples split up, it’s a huge adjustment for everyone involved, especially the kids.
Coparenting takes love, patience, and understanding, but even then, conflicts can easily come up.
A 38-year-old man recently posted to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) to get insight on his recent request that his ex-wife stop buying their children expensive gifts.
He explains that he and the 35-year-old woman have been divorced for a decade.
The former couple have two sons together, ages 10 and 12.
A year after they separated, he remarried and had three girls ages nine, seven, and three with his second wife, while his ex-wife remained single.
Since the divorce, his first wife opened a successful online business where she makes a six-figure income.
His new wife is a stay-at-home mom, and the couple relies on his $30,000 annual income to support the family.
Of course, the disparity in income for the two households means that the boys live completely different lifestyles at their mother’s house versus that home they share with their father, stepmother, and half-sisters.
That is exactly where the problem comes in.
The dad details his former wife’s living arrangement saying, “They live in a gated community, she drives a 2022 RSQ3. And she and our sons go on two extravagant holidays a year.”
The man’s sons visit every weekend and during a recent visit, they shared their Disney Concierge Cruise plans for the summer with their father and their little sisters.
Naturally, any mention of Disney excites young children, and the girls were no exception.
His kids began crying and pleading with their dad to take them on the Disney cruise.
Not wanting to disappoint his baby girls, the poster decided to look into the prices and found that the trip was a whopping $5,000 per person.
He knew immediately that he could not afford to take them.
Since the boys announced their upcoming vacation, their sisters have been talking about it non-stop, making their father feel guilty and unhappy with his own financial situation.
He complains that “I feel like their wealth is being shoved down our throats, when we can barely afford heating this Christmas.”
In his angst, he adds, “It’s hard not to be hateful but I sent her a long text saying stop trying to make us feel less than. I also told my sons in private pls don’t mention holidays or gifts around the girls.”
After receiving the text message, his ex-wife shot back letting him know that his money problems had nothing to do with her and that he and his new wife were "the last people on her mind."
Now he has turned to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong for confronting the boys’ mother and accusing her of being spiteful and trying to make him and his wife look bad.
Redditors criticized him for his decision and declared him YTA (You're The A--hole).
The first comment was upvoted over 21,000 times and read, “YTA. She is doing NOTHING wrong. 'Me and my wife are the last people on her mind?' Of course you are. What else would you expect?”
The commenter goes on to say, “She is good to her kids. Good parenting. YOU are no concern to her, except that you are a parent to her kids. 'Or am I the asshole for saying she’s spiteful?' YES, you are!”
One person found the situation unbelievable saying, “Yeah, this can’t be real. If he is living on 30k with two kids alone, he would be owed massive child support if she makes 100k.”
“How do they even have a home on a 30k salary? I’m baffled how this is a thing. Not even the behavior. [It’s] just the logistics [that] don’t make sense.”
People were quick to clear up his misconceptions, clarifying that the mother has primary custody and is not obligated to pay any child support.
The sentiment is clear, the boys’ mother is not required to base her lifestyle and how she provides for her kids on her ex’s financial situation.
If he feels bad about his household income, he and his wife should work to increase it.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment & news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.