Bride Slammed For Asking Cousin To Make Decorations For Free But Not Inviting Her To Wedding
It was a big favor to ask.
Ostap Davydiak / Shutterstock It takes a village to organize a wedding and when your loved ones are tying the knot you do what you can to help out.
Usually, though, if you went out of your way to help plan or organize a wedding you would think you would at least get an invite.
One man opened up to Reddit's “r/AmItheA–-hole” (AITA) subreddit thread about his frustration at not being invited to the wedding of his wife's cousin after she insisted he work for free to aid wedding planning.
He and his wife made custom wedding decorations but didn't even get an invite.
Reddit users had the choice to give him a “You’re the A–hole” (YTA) rating if they believed that he was wrong or a “Not the A--hole” (NTA) rating if they thought he was not.
“Her cousin came to us and wanted us to do all the signage, banners, guest books, life-sized cutouts, etc for her wedding,” the man wrote.
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“We do this all the time for friends' weddings and events, and we never charge. We're happy to help out and it's usually a lot of fun working together to make some cool stuff.”
The man and his wife got to work on her cousin’s wedding requests, but they never received a date or an invitation to the celebration.
“A few weeks before the wedding, her wedding planner tells us they need all the items by X date so they can set it up for the wedding,” the man shared.
“At this point, we hadn't received our wedding invitations and didn't even know when the actual wedding was.”
The man’s wife texted her cousin attempting to clarify when the wedding was and if they had missed the invitation somehow.
The woman’s cousin claimed that she and her husband were not invited to the wedding because the venue didn’t have enough space.
Her cousin replied, "'Oh we downsized the wedding and we decided to have like a close friends and family thing’ and that they didn't have space for us in the small venue,” the man wrote.
Rightfully, the man says that he and his wife were “pretty hurt and insulted.”
Additionally, the man claimed that the cost of producing the wedding materials was close to $2,000.
“Her cousin and the wedding planner kept making tiny revisions to the artwork, had us print samples to see how it would look in person, resized several of the items a few times, etc. All that cost a ton of time and money,” the man shared.
Since he and his wife manage a functioning business, they had to delay other orders that came in and work after hours to complete his wife’s cousin’s wedding materials.
The man ultimately decided to bill his wife’s cousin for the costs and request payment before the delivery of the items.
“We're not making money on it, just charged her for the cost of materials,” he added.
However, the man’s wife’s cousin and her family were not pleased by this.
“So far we've gotten threatening calls from the cousin, her fiance, some random members of my wife's family that I don't know, some of the groomsmen, etc essentially calling us a–holes,” the man wrote.
After having to deal with the harassment, the man is considering charging his wife’s cousin full price or he will deny her delivery of the items.
“Sorry but I'm not going to waste my hard-earned time and money on someone who doesn't even consider us close friends and family,” the man concluded his post.
Redditors supported the man and considered him “NTA.”
“They're close enough to ask for this work as a free favor, but not close enough to invite them to their wedding? Totally NTA. Charge them full price, maybe even add on an AH tax,” one user wrote.
"100% tell them that the discount or ‘no charge’ is for ‘close friends and family’ only,” another user commented. “They’ve already established that they don’t meet that criteria, so they shouldn’t be mad.”
Others believed that the man’s wife’s cousin planned on not inviting them from the beginning while still taking advantage of them.
“NTA. They probably planned to scam you from day one, I would definitely bill them for the full amount,” another user wrote.
The man has yet to reveal if his wife’s cousin paid the expenses, or if she reconsidered and invited them to the wedding.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.