Man Leaves His Fiancée Just Before The Wedding For 'The One That Got Away' & Finds Out The Grass Isn't Always Greener
Sometimes, reality is much different than the illusion.
Pressmaster / Shutterstock Getting married is a thrilling time in a relationship. It takes a ton of preparation and, sometimes, a lot of money. You're excited to walk down the aisle, recite your vows, and commit to spending eternity with the person you love. But not all impending nuptials end happily ever after, especially when infidelity is involved.
Three years ago, a woman thought she met the man of her dreams, and their relationship had been as close to perfect as possible — even their mothers became the best of friends. She didn't hesitate to accept when he asked her to marry him, but that all came to a crashing halt when a past love popped up wanting to reconnect.
The man's high school sweetheart came back into the picture — and everything changed.
Originally posted to the r/relationships subreddit, and reposted on TikTok, it wasn't a secret that the woman's partner, Mark, had ended things with his ex because she went abroad to pursue her education. But her return five years later sparked a chain of events that would impact all their lives.
As soon as his ex-girlfriend came home, she reached out to reconnect. Mark was honest with his fiancée about her return, and feeling as if she could fully trust her man, she agreed they should get together.
When he returned from the visit, Mark's demeanor was completely different. He was withdrawn and dismissive, constantly on his phone and starting fights. He "recoiled" from her touch and refused to make eye contact during intimacy, so it was clear that something had changed.
One weekend, the fiancée decided to spend time with Mark's grandmother since the two had grown close. When she got home, she found him packing his belongings, preparing to leave. He apologized for hurting her, but explained he had been given a second chance for true love with "the one that got away" and didn't want to squander it.
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His ex wanted him back, and he came to realize he still loved her and wanted the same. He said he would continue to pay bills until she got a new place, but was sure he wanted to be elsewhere. His fiancée begged and pleaded, but he stood strong in his decision.
Devastated over the breakup, her friends and family rallied around her with support. Even Mark's grandmother called him a "fool" and predicted he would come crawling back.
Just as his grandmother predicted, Mark found out that everything that glitters is not gold.
Not long after leaving, the runaway groom sent a letter apologizing for his actions. He acknowledged that he lacked the courage to face his former fiancée in person and said that he ran away in search of a "perfect relationship that never existed."
Filled with regret, he confessed, "I thought I was in love with her. I was in love with what she represented."
He reminisced about his fiancée's scent, her singing, her holiday rituals, and even her nagging, recognizing that he did not get the same fulfillment from the other woman. Now, he wished he could turn back the hands of time and never betray her.
Assuming that the wedding plans had been canceled, he offered to pay out of pocket if they could get the ceremony back on track. His family hated what he did but was still hopeful for reconciliation, but the woman wondered, "If he could do this to me in good times, what would he do in bad times?"
Despite his attempts at reconciliation, the relationship is over.
Mark pleaded for another chance, but even his own mother admitted that she would not reconcile in similar circumstances.
The woman set out to rebuild her life and rearrange her home to fit her new circumstances, but even that proved difficult. One Saturday night, her ex-fiancé showed up at her door with his old flame in tow. He begged to be let in, but she refused, not feeling emotionally stable enough to face him and the woman that he chose over her.
They knocked for 15 minutes before leaving, only to return in the next few days. She never answered, but is now uncomfortable in her own home.
What's clear is that he made a monumental mistake and regrets it, but like with most things in life, hindsight is 20/20.
He has shown himself to be very unreliable and fickle when it comes to commitment. Even if she were to take him back, there would always be a question of underlying trust. And, as anyone who has ever been cheated on knows, regaining trust takes hard work.
According to licensed therapist, Nicole Kleiman-Reck, MA, LMHC, "Rebuilding trust comes down to making the decision to remain in the relationship, having the discipline to do the work, believing that trust can be re-developed, and being vulnerable and open to change."
Both parties must be active and willing in order for the relationship to heal, and that's clearly not the case here.
This failed relationship could have been avoided if Mark had fully moved on from his past love. He seemed to lack the closure he needed to start a new and healthy relationship.
As referenced by Verywell Mind, the worst thing you can do when processing a breakup is to rush into another relationship. In order to truly move on, you have to actively experience the emotions that come from lost love, and distracting yourself with someone new only delays closure.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington. She covers lifestyle, relationships, and human-interest stories that readers can relate to and that bring social issues to the forefront for discussion.