Man Explains The Problem With Dating A ‘Chill Girl’ — 'A Lot Of Guys Say They Wanna Date A Chill Girl, It’s Kinda Dumb’
He explains why he believes being chill is actually a red flag.
TikTok When it comes to dating, there are a lot of behaviors that most of us can agree are red flags, such as love bombing, inconsistent communication and possessiveness. So for many guys, when they find a "chill" girl it seems like a promising breath of fresh air.
However, one man took to TikTok to explain why he believes dating the 'chill girl' isn't always as great as it seems.
The man explained why he believes being chill is actually a red flag when it comes to dating.
TikTok user Alex Dragicevich shared his opinions about chill girlfriends in a TikTok video. In the video, he shared his experience of dating a 'chill girl' for a year. He mentioned that at first, "it was great," because she “didn’t text too much” and “wasn’t too jealous.”
However, he noted that eventually the reason why she was able to be so "chill" was because she just didn’t like him.
Dragicevich noted that the breakup wasn’t bad, but that she had claimed that “she needed to be alone”, to which he responded with "Well, that checks out."
Women validated Dragicevich's theory in the comments.
One person wrote, “It’s true. I’m so chill when I don’t like someone,” to which Dragicevich responded, “Aren’t we all.”
Another woman mentioned that though men claim to want a "chill" girl, eventually they come to dislike the chillness. “I am a chill independent woman. They all love it in the beginning," she wrote. "Then it becomes 'you don’t make me feel needed.' Can’t have both boys.”
Many wrote that it may come down to attachment styles and how some women prefer to “preserve their individuality” and not be very dependent on anyone.
The larger focus of the conversation relied on how “chill” girls seem to have a lack of care and affection and how this is a problem for men as the relationship goes further.
It’s possible that this desire to be a “chill girl” is just a mask in order to keep a man.
It’s important to show your significant other that you care, even if that means getting jealous. Plus, jealousy isn’t always a bad thing; it only becomes a bad thing if you don't address and work on the things that trigger it.
The idea of being low maintenance and self-sufficient with a splash of effective emotional regulation may be a mask to keep men around. It seems as though some men want to be able to do whatever they want with no backlash from their girlfriends, but in reality, they’re lacking the whole purpose of what a relationship is.
The purpose of a relationship is to be true to yourself, have love and respect for one another, and share your life. When you’re too focused on being someone else, it can cause major self-esteem issues as well as conflict in the relationship.
Overall, if a man doesn’t accept you for your bubbly, eccentric, and emotional personality, then the relationship is bound to fail anyways. It’s much easier to be yourself than it is to be anyone else.
Cortney Crowell is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango from New Jersey who covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.