Man Wonders If He's Wrong For Asking Girlfriend To Stop Knitting So Much When They Watch TV — 'I Want Her To Be Interested In Me, Not Some Pile Of Yarn'
"I've read a lot jealousy stories, but this is the first time ever I've read about someone being jealous of a ball of yarn."
absolutimages / altanaka / Shutterstock; Reddit A man is seeking advice after believing that his girlfriend’s longtime hobby is affecting their relationship.
The man claims that his girlfriend is not giving him 100% of her attention since she is so focused on her hobby even when they are spending time together.
The man asked his girlfriend to stop knitting when they are watching TV together.
Sharing his story to the subreddit, r/AmITheA-–hole, the 30-year-old man revealed that he has been dating his 27-year-old girlfriend for three months. Before the two began dating, the woman’s favorite pastime was knitting, and it is still a hobby she takes time to do daily.
While the man admitted that at first, he didn’t mind his girlfriend’s knitting, he now he believes that it is negatively impacting their relationship.
The man claims that his girlfriend is often more focused on her knitting than she is on him. “Granted, she’s not pulling out the knitting hook at dinner or anything but it seems anytime we’re watching TV together or just hanging out at her place she’s always working on some project,” the man wrote.
His girlfriend claims that she “needs to keep her hands busy” and that it is similar to fidgeting. Although, her boyfriend is upset that she cannot be “fully present” when she is caught up in her knitting.
“She argued that she can follow TV show plots just fine but when I quizzed her on some details she couldn’t answer some of the questions,” the man wrote. “She said ‘If it’s an important conversation I obviously put my work down’ but I think we have different definitions of what important means.”
The man also told his girlfriend that he would like to cuddle with her while they watch TV, and argues that her knitting interferes with their physical interactions.
Photo: Shyntartanya / Shutterstock
“She said we can still cuddle but it’s literally not the same,” the man shared. “I want her to be interested in me, not some pile of yarn.”
The man confessed that he would feel better about his girlfriend’s knitting if she was knitting items for him.
One day, the man decided to sit his girlfriend down and discuss the issue. “Instead of being willing to compromise, she told me that I’m the one that’s not listening to her and essentially called me an a-–hole,” he wrote.
The man revealed that his girlfriend is a “great girl” and that he does not want to lose her over their disagreement. He asked other Reddiors if he was in the wrong.
Many people criticized the man for expecting his girlfriend to give up her hobby to always provide him with her undivided attention.
“You sound incredibly selfish and self-centered. You'd be OK with her knitting if it was something she was doing for YOU, but because she's not, she has to have her full undivided attention on YOU, at all times,” one Redditor commented. “I've read a lot of jealousy stories on here, but this is the first time ever I've read about someone being jealous of a ball of yarn.”
“She's had a hobby since LONG before meeting you and you expect her to drop it just cause you want some skin time?” another user wrote.
“Go find someone who wants needy, clingy, and insecure,” another user suggested.
Some recommended that the man take an interest in his girlfriend’s hobbies instead of being angry at her for having them.
In fact, having interests other than your relationship is fundamental for your own personal health and growth. Being able to enjoy your own hobbies allows you to unwind, de-stress and check in with yourself.
Instead of guilting his partner for participating in hobbies that do not involve being intimate with him or giving him enough attention, he could try finding his own hobby that will keep him occupied and less focused on the fact that his girlfriend does not spend her time knitting just for him.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.