Teacher Is Uncomfortable With Female Co-Worker's Flirting — HR Was There But Laughed & Clapped At The Inappropriate Comments
What happens when it's a woman making unwanted advances?
Lopolo, New Africa, Dean Drobot / Shutterstock When a co-worker starts flirting with you, it can make for an uncomforatable experience, especially if the feelings aren't mutual. You still have to see them on a daily basis and hope that your interactions don't become awkward.
Unfortunately for one man, his female co-worker's pursuit made getting through the day an unsettlling experience. Feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable, the male teacher turned to Reddit for clarity and advice.
The male teacher says his female co-worker's unwanted flirting is becoming uncomfortable.
After she found out he was single, the flirting ramped up, and what most would consider fun and friendly was actually intrusive. Admittedly, he could have just ignored it, but the students seem to have caught wind of her behavior and it's taken a turn for the worse.
It's unclear whether she talked to the kids about her crush, but he confessed, "now students are talking about how they 'ship' us" — and that's where it gets more complicated.
Photo: Reddit
He deflected and refocused the kids on their school work, but admitted that dealing with students regularly telling him "you and Ms. Smith would make a great couple" makes him feel "icky."
He turned to his online audience to advise him on whether he should pull the woman aside and deal with the situation directly or reach out to Human Resources. But his ultimate fear was that his concerns would be met with dismissal simply because he is a male complaining of unwanted female attention.
His fears of being dismissed became a reality during an HR attended staff meeting.
Not only did "Ms. Smith" announce to the entire school staff that he looked "fit," but she went so far as to "hoot" at him, adding "show us that cake."
The HR person and a representative from the union witnessed the entire incident and "laughed along with her and clapped." Understandably mortified, he lamented, "I hardly think I am being unreasonable about feeling uncomfortable here."
But despite comments on the post that the man was making a mountain out of a molehill, men also have the right to say no to sexual harassment. And if what he says is true, this man is being sexually harrassed by his co-worker.
If a woman was exposed to a similar situation, everyone would be up in arms. Instead of laughing and assuming she is flattered by the compliments, they would gather around to protect her from the innappropriate behavior.
Sadly, the situation is much different when the unwelcome flirting is from a woman towards a man.
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 41% of men in the U.S. have been subjected to some form of sexual harassment, but it is often overlooked because of societal perceptions. And according to Marriage.com, it's not uncommon for men to be told they are being too sensitive and have their concerns overlooked.
But not being believed or feeling like they can't speak up can have a detrimental impact to their mental and physical health. Depending on the severity of the case, instances of PTSD, anxiety, and even sexual dysfunction have been documented.
If you are experiencing sexual harassment at work, and HR is aware but has ignored it, document the incidents and take your issue to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). It's likely that you are not being taken seriously due to your gender.
You may also wish to seek counseling to overcome the negative impact on you and find legal assistance if necessary to hold the company and the culprit accountable.
NyRee Ausler, SHRM-SCP, SPHR is a writer and author from Seattle, Washington. She covers workplace issues using the experience garnered over two decades of working in Human Resources and Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.