Husband Claims He Sleeps In A Closet Rather Than In Bed With His Wife To Protect His Mental Health
Some couples opt to sleep separately to improve their marriages. But why the closet?
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Matt and Abby Howard are a popular couple on social media who often find themselves under fire. In the past, they've been criticized for promoting "traditional marriage roles," declaring that divorce is not an option, and leaving their young children in a cabin on a cruise ship unsupervised.
Most recently, Matt revealed that he has not been sharing a bed with his wife for the past month, and instead, has been crashing in their closet. He decided to debut his new solo podcast "Night Shift with Matt Howard" from his new digs and opened up about his reasoning.
Matt Howard revealed that he sleeps in a walk-in closet rather than in bed with his wife to protect his mental health.
During the first episode of his new podcast, the 26-year-old filmed himself lying on a mattress that he dragged into the closet. "This is super embarrassing, but I've been sleeping in our walk-in closet for the past month,” he confessed. “This is our guest bedroom mattress that I dragged all the way from our guest bedroom into here."
He said that he decided to alter his sleeping arrangements to "prioritize his mental health." Matt has previously opened up about his struggles with ADHD, anxiety, and depression, and in February of last year, released the song "Still Not Enough," which he said was about "feeling empty inside."
In his podcast, Matt confessed that his 25-year-old wife, Abby, was not a fan of the new sleeping arrangements. "I don't know a spouse that would be stoked about their significant other sleeping in the freaking closet,” he admitted.
Abby opened up about her feelings on the subject during a recent episode of their joint podcast “Unplanned Podcast.”
"I complain about it every night," she said. "I'm a lonely gal … say what you want, but I am codependent." She added that she also isn't a fan of the queen-sized mattress taking up space in their shared closet.
Matt, on the other hand, shared that he created a "sleep paradise" in the closet, complete with a small AC unit, a portable humidifier, and essential oils. Despite the effort he's put into making the closet as comfortable as possible, he said that the arrangement is only temporary, and he will move back into his bed with Abby once his mental health issues are alleviated.
His confession was not well-received by viewers.
Many people online found it odd that Matt chose to sleep in the closet away from his wife.
"If my husband told me he had to go sleep in a closet, away from me for his mental health, I’d take that as personal as it gets," one user wrote.
"I wouldn't be able to sleep without my husband," another commenter admitted. "I need the warmth and knowing that he is there keeping me safe."
Many commenters asked why he opted to bring the guest bedroom mattress into the closet instead of just sleeping in the guest bedroom. Others questioned if his video was intended to be "rage bait."
Many couples sleep in separate rooms.
A 2023 survey by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that more than one-third of American couples sleep in separate rooms. The phenomenon is often referred to as “sleep divorce” and carries a negative connotation that couples who sleep separately must not be happy with one another. However, some couples swear that the decision to sleep separately has strengthened their marriage.
Some people may have difficulty sleeping in the same bed due to conflicting sleep schedules, snoring, and sleep disorders. This can affect one’s sleep quality, which in turn can negatively affect their relationship and their mental health.
Instead of allowing resentment to brew, some couples opt to sleep separately, and credit the decision as the best one they have made as a couple!
In 2019, Rich Roll, an athlete and podcaster, shared that he sleeps outside in a tent away from his wife because the quality of his sleep improved significantly from the outdoor air. His wife, on the other hand, prefers warmer temperatures and continues to sleep in the couple’s old bedroom
Roll claimed that his change in sleeping arrangements did not negatively impact his marriage. "We have our quality time, I promise you," he insisted. "Everything is fine in my marriage."
In essence, sleeping separately can be a healthy choice for couples, allowing them to prioritize their well-being, sleep quality, and personal space without undermining their love or commitment. It doesn’t signal that the marriage is crumbling or that the partners hate each other’s company. It’s all about finding balance and respecting each other’s needs within the relationship.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.