Husband's Response To His Wife Coming Out As Gay Is Receiving Mixed Reactions — 'The Pain In His Eyes'
Coming out can be incredibly difficult, but it's worth it to be yourself.
@sheslivingaligned / TikTok; Christian Ouellet / Canva A 27-year-old woman named Jody recently posted a video talking about her husband’s reaction when she came out to him as gay, despite them being married. Now, as he’s soon to be her ex-husband, they’re prepping to move out of the home they bought together and go their separate ways.
In order to highlight the kindness with which her ex-husband, Ted, gave her, she wanted to post a video showing what his response was when she came out to him, pleading with everyone to “Be like Ted.”
Her husband told her that coming out as gay was the bravest thing he’s seen anyone do.
Jody called it “the sweetest and most amazing reaction,” before panning the camera over to him in order to allow him to say it one last time. “I said that I was so proud of you, and that was the bravest thing I’ve seen anyone do,” Ted said.
They hugged and smiled, Ted gave a little thumbs up to the camera, and Jody continued, adding, “And now we are going our own separate ways, and we’re about to put this house on the market, and that’s all she wrote.”
Of course, it seems as though the divorce is an amicable one, but despite that, commenters couldn’t help but notice how Ted looked as he was relaying his response for the last time.
“The pain in his eyes,” one of the top comments read. A separate comment read, “My [ex-husband] was like that too but there was still so much hurt for both of us. Getting better [every day] though. Proud of you.”
In response, Jody shared, “So many feelings. Hurt, sadness, anger, love, support. It all exists at the same time. Space and grace, it’s hard!”
There was an outpouring of support for both of them.
Many people applauded Ted for having an incredibly mature reaction, and many praised Jody for her bravery in speaking up. Some less-than-kind commenters blamed her for wasting his time, but others put a positive spin on the situation by saying she could have wasted more time if she stayed out of fear of his reaction.
In the comments, she also explained that she talked to him two days after finding out for herself. According to a Match.com survey from 2016, it took adults who realized their sexuality in their adulthood an average of 2.9 years to come out — and Jody wasted no time at all.
Coming out is a difficult process for LGBTQ+ people.
People may fear coming out for a variety of reasons, making it incredibly difficult to actually do it. The Trevor Project and the Human Rights Campaign both have resources on their websites to help people along the process because, at the end of the day, it’s damaging to feel as though you can’t be yourself.
They may worry about how people will react or perceive them differently. Maybe they feel as though their parents won’t be supportive of them — or worse, would kick them out of the house. The society and government around them in the United States may make it hard to feel supported, especially as anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is being passed left and right.
For Jody, despite having come out so quickly, it could have been the fear of hurting the one person closest to her and whom she vowed to be with for the rest of her life. Coming out requires a tremendous amount of courage, and so Ted is right — Jody was truly brave for doing so.
The healing process may be long, but it’s well worth it to be yourself and comfortable with who you are.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.