Man Tells Wife That She Should Wear 'Less Revealing' Clothes When She Goes Out With Friends Because It Makes Him 'Uncomfortable'
Her clothing choices shouldn't be something that is dictated by her husband.
Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels A husband was accused of being "insecure" after admitting that he attempted to control his wife's appearance to appease his own conscience.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AITAH" — an online forum where people can share interpersonal conflicts and receive advice on whether or not they were in the wrong — a 41-year-old man explained that his wife, 38, will often go out with her friends in attire that he doesn't approve of.
In his Reddit post, he revealed that his wife, who he has been married to for over a decade, will often go out every few weeks with some of her single friends for a girl's night at different clubs and bars in their area.
"She's very attractive and outgoing. I'm completely fine with that and I trust her 100%. Her friends will sometimes hook up with guys, which is normal for them. But her friends have also joked/mentioned how guys will hit on my wife, buy her drinks, etc.," he wrote. Hearing how his wife will often get approached by different men when she's out, he admitted to feeling "uncomfortable" by this and decided to take up the issue with her.
He told his wife to start wearing "less revealing" clothes when she goes out with friends to stop guys from coming up to her.
"I told her it makes me uncomfortable to know other guys are hitting on her and maybe that would cut down on how often it might happen. From my perspective, a person's clothing is also a 'signal' to some degree," he continued.
Photo: bbernard / Shutterstock
Of course, his wife was completely floored by his request and told him that he was "overreacting" and she shouldn't have to change anything about her attire for the sake of his own feelings. "She also got defensive and told me I don't trust her and she'd never have a problem if roles were reversed."
The idea that women need to dress modestly to not attract unwanted attention is rooted in misogyny and outdated patriarchal values.
This husband's belief that if his wife dressed modestly, she would be able to avoid attracting male attention is an inherently wrong idea and only ends up further objectifying her body. It doesn't matter what a woman has on, and by putting that responsibility on her, or any woman for that matter, the focus shifts away from addressing inappropriate male behavior.
Everyone should have the right to decide what they wear based on their personal preferences, comfort, and self-expression. Policing women's clothing choices only takes away their agency and implies that their appearance exists for the pleasure or judgment of others.
Dress codes or modesty guidelines also do not guarantee safety. Women can be approached, harassed, and assaulted regardless of what they wear.
In the comments section, many people pointed out that he acted out of line by trying to dictate what his wife should and shouldn't be wearing.
"We don't stop being women because we become mothers and wives. When did going out with our friends and getting dolled up become wrong?" one Reddit user questioned.
Another user added, "She wants to feel included, and pretty. Clothing is not an open invitation to be hit on. It's about feeling confident and attractive."
Women should have the freedom to dress in a way that aligns with their personal preferences and comfort, without fear of judgment or harassment. Instead, we should be encouraging a culture of consent, respect, and equality that will only benefit everyone.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.