Groom's Prank During His Wedding Vows Deemed 'Humiliating' To His Bride
While wedding days are fun occasions that should be filled with laughter, should it be at the bride's expense?
@lifecoachshawn / TikTok Your wedding day is undoubtedly one of the most significant days of your life, and you will likely remember every detail and second of the occasion. One of the most memorable parts of a wedding day, especially for a bride, is how their groom makes them feel as they vow to spend the rest of their lives together at the altar.
One bride will certainly always remember how her groom treated her on their special day, but not at all for the right reasons. She was left feeling humiliated at the altar after her groom played an unexpected prank at her expense.
The groom showed a sign that read ‘Help me’ to their guests as he was reading his vows.
The video that has sparked outrage on TikTok depicts a bride and groom standing in front of their wedding guests at the altar as the minister asks the man to read his vows to his bride. The man turns to the audience as he begins to remove a sheet of paper from his front pocket, admitting that he is nervous. He removes and unfolds the paper, and people are quick to notice that the words “Help me!” are scrawled in bold, black ink on the backside as he begins reading his vows.
While his cruel prank resulted in some uncomfortable laughter from some of their guests, the bride made it clear that she was not happy with her man’s actions. Her jaw drops and she whacks him with her flower bouquet. Even after the man claims that it was “just a joke,” her frustrated expression remains unchanged.
Most people slammed the man's prank as 'humiliating.'
Other TikTok users took it upon themselves to respond to the video, with most of them criticizing the groom for believing that his wedding day was an appropriate time to prank his bride. “What is it about a man who is at the altar with the woman that he has proposed to, right before he promises to love, honor, and cherish her, that makes him want to humiliate that woman?” says Shawnda (@lifecoachshawn) in a video of the unnecessary prank.
She points out that this is not the first prank pulled by a groom she has seen at weddings, whether it be the groom smashing the wedding cake all over the bride’s dress and face in front of their guests or “disrespecting” his bride in his vows. “[He has] some kind of way he has to humiliate this person for ‘making’ him stand up and marry him,” she says. Shawnda adds that she has “no respect” for men who take a day as significant as their wedding day, and use the opportunity to get themself “a cheap laugh,” usually at the poor bride’s expense.
Others believed that the groom’s behavior was a clear example that his bride was the recipient of a 'shut-up ring.'
A 'shut-up ring' is an unofficial term for an engagement ring that is given by a man who is not seriously planning on marrying his girlfriend but gives her a ring in order to get her to “shut up” asking him about engagement and marriage plans. TikTok user @ceciliaregina275 argues that the man’s prank on his wedding day was an indication that he gave his soon-to-be wife a shut-up ring since he did not appear to take the occasion seriously at all. “The biggest sign of a shut-up ring is any kind of prank, especially at the altar, but anytime during your wedding day or during the proposal,” she says. “This is not a time for jokes.”
She encourages brides who were pranked by their grooms on their wedding day to ask themselves if he put the same energy into writing her a love letter, or if he spent just as much time preparing for the day to be special for her as he did to humiliate her. The woman also uses the opportunity to bring up the famous Margaret Atwood quote, “Men are afraid women will laugh at them, while women are afraid men will kill them,” to highlight the vast difference in concerns between men and women.
While women tend to hurry through a parking lot back to their cars at night, wishing that they were invisible to legitimate lurking dangers, many men want to vanish at the thought of even being the subject of or falling for a prank, and having their egos temporarily bruised. This is a possible explanation for pranking their brides at their weddings, ensuring that the women are the victims of the jokes and that the guests will all be laughing at their expense.
However, there are more appropriate pranks that you could pull on your wedding day if you want the day to be filled with light-hearted laughter, and they do not involve humiliating the bride. You can instead prank your guests by dropping a fake wedding cake on the floor or have the bridesmaids and groomsmen swap outfits. These are innocent jokes that do not prey on someone’s dignity and self-confidence and ones that your guests, the videographers, and most importantly, the bride and groom can have a good laugh over.
If a groom truly loves his bride as much as he claims to in his vows, he will do everything he can to ensure that their big day is everything that she imagined and more.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.