The Fascinating Way Women Are Reacting To Men Getting New Hair At 'Toupee Queen'
If the roles were reversed, you would probably expect these comments to look different.
@barrettpall / TikTok There's no doubt that almost everyone, man or woman, has seen the kind of hate women get for simply existing, particularly on social media.
Women who wear makeup are told that men prefer natural beauty, and women who don’t wear makeup are called ugly. They’re shamed for having any body type imaginable, humiliated for showing any visible signs of aging, and mocked if they choose to undergo surgery or other aesthetic procedures.
Every choice a woman could possibly make, especially in terms of appearances, is judged under harsh scrutiny. The reverse, however, is rarely true.
One man made a TikTok showing just how stark the differences are between how men and women tend to treat each other online.
A man explained the contrast between comments from women on a man’s hair transformation versus comments from men on videos of women.
Queer life coach Barrett Pall (@barrettpall) has over two million followers on TikTok, where he posts videos about subjects like patriarchy and pop culture.
A recent video of his featured a man getting new hair installed by Toupee Queen, a hair restoration specialist. The man clearly loved his new look and was visibly more confident after the procedure.
“What do you think the comments section of this video looks like?” Pall asked. He revealed that Toupee Queen’s TikTok comments mostly consist of women “hyping up” the men who get new hair installed. “It’s just a bunch of women being so pumped to see him so happy,” Pall said.
“In my opinion, this perfectly exemplifies the difference between men and women on these apps,” Pall claimed. “So many guys just go around the internet trolling women for doing things that make them feel better, like makeup, yet all these women were so pumped to see this guy do something that made him feel better.”
Pall prompted viewers to go to Toupee Queen’s TikTok page (@legohugs) and look at the supportive comments, then compare those comments to ones on videos by women about makeup or body positivity.
“Go find any wonderful woman on here that’s doing, like, makeup, and see how awful her comments are from men,” Pall said. He added in a text overlay that “Women’s body positivity videos are the absolute worst with hate from men.”
Photo: TikTok / @barrettpall
Commenters on Pall’s post appreciated his point and came up with examples of the issue he discussed.
People agreed that if the roles were reversed and it was a woman undergoing an aesthetic transformation, the comments would look very different.
“A man would say take him swimming,” one person pointed out. One woman even shared a relevant experience from her past: “I wore a wig at one point because I lost my hair due to medical issues... when the guy I was dating found out (after 2 months) he broke up with me.”
Lots of other comments expressed their appreciation for the kindness of women. “I never actually thought about that. We (the majority of women) really do cheer everyone on,” one woman said. Another noted, “Also the number of women in the comments on each of those vids saying ‘He was handsome before and after!’”
Photo: TikTok / @barrettpall
The point of Pall’s video wasn’t that women are inherently kinder than men, of course.
Women can be cruel, and men can be supportive. The pattern Pall called out was an issue related to patriarchy. Women are held to higher standards and are normally subjected to harsher judgment than men.
Commenters hypothesized that as victims of strict beauty standards, it makes sense that women would be more likely to support others in loving their appearances.
“We hype anyone up working on themselves because we know what it’s like to be put down for being imperfect,” one comment suggested, “We don’t want anyone feeling like that!”
“Women were taught for many years to nurture. I hope people can realize that this is a human trait, not just a female one,” another comment said.
Hopefully, people come away from Pall’s video feeling inspired to encourage others rather than tear them down. Being able to take pride in your appearance is a beautiful feeling, and nobody deserves to have that taken away from them by strangers on the internet.
Jessica Bracken is a writer living in Davis, California. She covers entertainment and news for YourTango.