Daughter Jealous Of Her Classmate Tries To Take Her Name — Mom Asks How She Can Get Her To Stop
A nickname is cool, but you can't just take someone else's unique name just because you like it.
EMPPhotography via Canva A mom’s 14-year-old daughter is set to start high school next week, but there’s certain behavior that her daughter’s exhibiting that’s rubbing her the wrong way. In her attempt to get her to stop before she enters high school, the mom posted on Reddit’s “r/Parenting” forum, hoping they could provide her with some quality advice on how to handle her strange behavior. It all started with a girl in her class that she seemed to be jealous of.
The mom’s teenage daughter was trying to take her classmate’s name.
She tries to explain what’s going on, providing context to her daughter’s situation. “My daughter (14) has a traditional first name…no 'wow' factor, just a classic name along the lines of Anna or Emily,” she begins her Reddit post. “She isn’t unpopular at school, but she isn’t in the popular group either.”
“However, there is a very popular girl at her school who everyone knows (because she’s a cheerleader, in student government, wins the talent show every year with her singing, etc) and she has a very unusual first name, which I suspect might be a family last name somewhere in her genealogy.”
The mom claims that she’s never heard this name before, but now her daughter will refer to herself as nothing more than that girl’s name.
“She changed her socials so that this unique name is now her first name. I can’t even imagine what the classmates at school must think, let alone the girl herself.”
We’re all given a name at birth. Of course, her teenage daughter could change her name once she’s 18, and she could also take up a nickname in the meantime, but switching your name to someone else’s unique name might come off as a little…odd.
“To me, it comes off stalkerish and just plain weird,” the mom admitted. “I told my daughter that I understand the desire to have a nickname, but she should choose something else. I told her that this name is unique to a classmate and is probably even a family name…and her classmate might believe she’s copying her or even making fun of her.”
Her daughter was upset with her mom for not supporting her.
“She says she likes this name and she ‘identifies’ with it, and I should be more supportive of ‘who she is,’” the mom continues. “My daughter and I have an awesome relationship and I hate that we are fighting about this. Any thoughts on what I should do if anything?”
Fortunately, the high school her daughter is headed for is a different one than the girl whose name she’s copying, but some mutual friends are still attending the same one.
She doesn’t seem to copy any of this girl’s other characteristics, so it would appear that it’s all about being jealous of her name. Her mom believes it’s just “social immaturity,” and that her daughter doesn’t understand the real-world consequences of copying someone else’s name.
Rather than completely counting her out and writing off her behavior as weird, the mom is genuinely concerned with how this might affect her socially.
Thanks to the hundreds of comments on the post, her mom was able to come to the conclusion that they should seek out counseling for any underlying self-esteem issues that she might have.
“It appears my kid just really loves that name, and doesn’t believe my telling her it’s not cool to take it.”
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.