Dad Tells Daughter She 'Doesn't Have To Be Excited' About Her New Half-Sibling — Ex Accuses Him Of Manipulating Her
He wanted to validate her feelings
ibragimova/Shutterstock Co-parenting after divorce is not the easiest thing in the world. Making joint decisions from two separate households can be difficult.
A 30-year-old man took to the AITA (Am-I-The-A—hole) subreddit to ask if he was right for the fatherly advice, he gave his 6-year-old daughter.
He starts by saying this he and his 29-year-old ex-wife, “J”, divorced when their daughter was two. They now share equal custody of the little girl.
His ex has since remarried and is expecting a child — but his daughter is struggling with the idea.
About a year ago, the girl’s mom remarried and is expecting a child with her new husband. She is 30 weeks pregnant.
The dad acknowledges that the situation is unique. He said, “She has made this pregnancy a big deal especially because she got pregnant and ended up having a miscarriage at 11 weeks.”
“I understand how difficult a miscarriage would be even though I’ve never experienced that loss.”
He had a heart-to-heart conversation with his daughter.
According to the poster, his daughter was upset when he dropped her off at her mother’s house four days ago.
After he questioned her, the child admitted that everyone “always talks about the baby.” She went on to say that she was sad because her mother no longer cared about her.
The doting dad assured his baby girl that her mom still loved and cared for her. He told her that having a baby is exciting and that they had been just as excited when she was born.
He alleges that his daughter responded, “She said she was not excited. I told her it was okay to not be excited right now and it was going to be a big change because she’ll be a big sister.”
He did remind her that she will be a role model for her new sibling and that it was a huge job.
He also told her how much fun she and the baby would have together. Her spirits seemed to be lifted.
Now J is upset about his advice.
All was well until the man showed up to get his daughter yesterday. J was present and both listened as the little girl recapped the conversation with her dad.
She said, “Daddy said I don’t have to be excited for the new baby she also tried saying how I said how she’ll have a big job as the baby’s big sister.”
Obviously taken aback, J became angry and called her ex-husband an a—hole. She thought he should have encouraged their child to get excited about the new baby.
Now he’s asking fellow Reddit users if he was wrong. He simply wanted to validate the child’s feelings and believes that he did encourage her.
The first commenter said, “NTA (not the a—hole). J is obviously ignoring your daughter and is focusing on her new baby. Of course, your daughter doesn’t have to be excited for the baby.”
The original poster responded, “Yeah I also think J has been pushing her to be more excited but she’s 6 and all the attention is getting focused solely on the new baby which isn’t going to make her more excited in her mind she probably thinks this lack of attention is going to last forever”
Let’s be honest, there are much bigger fish to fry when co-parenting a child together. Kids should be heard, and they should feel free to express themselves without repercussions.
J needs to be more understanding of her daughter’s needs. She should appreciate the fact that her ex-husband is logical and caring. Many exes are not and working with them is a nightmare.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.