Dad Decides To Spend The Night With His Son's Ex-Wife Instead Of Going To His Son's Wedding
He did what he thought was right.
Drazen Zigic / Shutterstock Many people around the world view the joining of two people (and two families) as a most joyous occasion — one of the most important days, celebrations, and rituals that one would partake in over the course of their entire life.
Not participating or even attending the wedding of an immediate family member is treated as blasphemy and could spell trouble for your future interactions with them. However, sometimes protecting your own peace comes ahead of being there for others.
One father, who wrote about his peculiar situation on the “r/AmItheA--hole” (AITA) subreddit, claimed that he had a very good reason not to attend his son’s wedding.
He didn’t go to his son’s wedding because he spent the night with his ex-wife instead.
Before jumping to any conclusions — which the father certainly expected readers to — he provides some context about what’s going on in his son’s life.
When he turned 19, he urged his son not to marry a girl that he had just met three states away at college because he was too immature — of course, he refused, and they dropped out of school and had a child together a year later.
“After the first baby, my wife and I noticed our [daughter-in-law] wasn’t happy. We both thought it was PPD related,” and after the second one popped out just 16 months later, the young couple went into counseling for a year.
The issues continued and the man writing the Reddit post eventually began to believe that it was his son's fault.
"She would bring the kids over for a visit, it was then she began unloading on us," he explains. "I know there are two sides to every story, but considering I know my son, I believed her."
She had told her husband’s parents everything and his father confronted him about what he was doing wrong.
Things didn’t work out, however, because he continues, writing “Our DIL filed for divorce, my son 3 days later was on Facebook announcing his new girlfriend. A month later, they were engaged.”
Unbeknownst to his son, he and his wife had been supporting the ex-wife — and mother of their grandkids — ever since he forced her into being a stay-at-home mother after their first child.
“She of course had no other family or friends here, she knew no one aside from us,” he explained. “She had nowhere to go with two small children.”
Before the divorce was finalized, they received a wedding invitation from their son.
“I made it clear to my son, I would not be attending and they would not have my blessing,” he explained.
His wife attempted to convince him to go to his son’s wedding, but he remained consistent in his decision not to go — he didn’t approve of the way his son was behaving and wanted him to know that.
“I also asked him not to bring his fiancée around our house out of respect for the mother of his children,” he explained.
The wedding occurred on February 11th, 2023. His wife went to go pick up their grandkids to take them to the wedding while he and their biological daughter decided to spend the evening with their daughter-in-law.
“She was taken aback that I didn’t end up attending his wedding. We took her out to distract her mind. I just wanted her to know, she’ll always be considered family to us.”
He explains that she was tearfully grateful to them and that only then did he realize how much she really needed their support on that night — his son, however, was not happy.
“He said that was the ultimate form of betrayal, and further myself and his sister would have to earn a relationship with him on his terms only,” he explained.
Redditors assured the man that he made the right choice by his daughter-in-law.
There was an overwhelming amount of support for the father, with most of the users on the subreddit awarding him with NTAs, or “Not The A--hole.”
One of the top comments read, “this is funny, you have to ‘earn’ a relationship on his terms. I think he needs to check his offering. He's way overvaluing what he brings to the table.”
“It sounds like you’re a reasonable parent who acknowledges when your kid is being an idiot,” another user wrote. “I don’t see anything wrong with you choosing to support the mother of your grandchildren who he seems to have left in a bad spot.”
Some people required a little more information in order to decide whether or not what his son did was so wrong and would warrant his own father missing out on his wedding, so he offered a small explanation.
His son was controlling and abusive towards his first wife and the mother of their grandkids.
He allowed her to do nothing for herself and did whatever he wanted. He never helped out with the kids and expected her to do everything.
He wouldn’t let her leave the house, make friends, or even get a part-time job.
She couldn’t even dye her hair and was told “He didn’t marry a fat woman,” when she gained some weight because of her pregnancies.
“I’m embarrassed he’s my son, I’m just thankful she doesn’t judge me for the way he is,” he wrote among the many comments on the post. “I know without a doubt, I did the right thing.”
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.