Comedian Shares Jokes About Taylor Swift That Would Have Gone Over Way Better Than What Jo Koy Said At The Golden Globes
Jo Koy was brutally criticized for the jokes he told during his open monologue at the Golden Globes.
Brian Friedman / Shutterstock It's been just a few days since the 2024 Golden Globes premiered, with many well-known Hollywood faces taking home the golden statue for their phenomenal performances in various projects.
From Cillian Murphy in "Oppenheimer," Ayo Edebiri in "The Bear," and Greta Gerwig's smash hit film "Barbie," it was a pretty successful night for fan favorites.
However, one thing viewers weren't too keen on was host and comedian Jo Koy's monologue and various "jokes" throughout the show, especially about Taylor Swift.
And in a TikTok video, a queer comedian shared what jokes would have worked better.
The comedian shared jokes about Taylor Swift that would have gone over way better than what Jo Koy said at the Golden Globes.
"Taylor Swift is here tonight, which means the property value of this building just increased by $10 trillion. I think we all need to leave within the next five minutes or we'll legally be declared squatters," Cohen began in their video, sharing some jokes about Swift that wouldn't have been nearly as unaccepted as the one Koy did during his open monologue at the Golden Globes.
Cohen continued, bringing up Swift's song "Lavender Haze" from her album "Midnights," which was released in October 2022. "Taylor Swift released a song called 'Lavender Haze' which, weirdly enough, was my name when I worked at a smoke shop in college."
They quickly moved on to comparing Swift to Margot Robbie's infamous role as Barbie, insisting that Swift may actually be the real-life Barbie, as she's successful, a blonde feminist, and just wants people to "stop talking about her boyfriend."
Cohen revealed some of the other parts of Koy's monologue that they rewrote to be funnier.
In another TikTok video, Cohen shared some aspects of a different monologue that would have elicited more laughs. "Hello and welcome to the Golden Globes," they began. "A night where we celebrate some of the finest in television and film."
"As a comedian whose name you will have to Google after this award show is over, I am very honored to be here." Cohen then immediately switched to joking about the cast of the "Barbie" movie, pointing out that they were all in the audience, including director Greta Gerwig.
Cohen joked that one of the best parts of Gerwig's film was what happened after people began to see it in theaters when all of the women began breaking up with their boyfriends who didn't understand what the "Barbie" movie had been about. "Thank you, Greta, for introducing an entire generation to the concept of a red flag."
Cohen then pivoted to talking about actress Ayo Edebiri, who was nominated for her role in FX's "The Bear." They acknowledged that not only was Edebiri in one of their favorite shows of the year, but also their favorite movie of the year, "Bottoms."
"A film that bravely depicted the fact that gay people can be [expletive] too," they quipped. "Speaking of 'The Bear,' we have Jeremy Allen White here tonight. Jeremy was in a recently released film called 'The Iron Claw,' a film that depicts one family's struggle with generational tragedy. As someone who also has daddy issues, I know how hard it is to navigate that. I can't imagine doing it for two and a half hours in Spandex."
Finally, Cohen shared that they had indeed seen the extremely talked about movie "Saltburn," and joked about the infamous bathtub scene that left people feeling extremely grossed out. Cohen joked that the scene in question was something "we've all wanted to do," and gave Barry Keoghan a shout-out for being the only one brave enough to depict it on screen.
In a third TikTok video, Cohen shared some other jokes they had about "Saltburn," including another infamous moment that many have dubbed "the vampire scene." Cohen joked that all of the men on the internet were disgusted by that scene, whereas lesbians were like, "That's a Tuesday."
"You know, it's funny that 'Barbie' and 'Oppenheimer' came out at the same time, both dealing with an existential crisis, the only difference is that 'Barbie' gave millions of people and generations, hope for the future, and 'Oppenheimer' took it away."
In the comments section, people were greatly amused by Cohen's jokes and pointed out that their on-the-spot jokes were much better than what Koy and the team of writers did for the Golden Globes.
Koy has since reacted to all of the negative feedback that came his way following his hosting gig at the award show.
During Koy's opening monologue, the comedian compared Barry Keoghan's nude scene in "Saltburn" and genitals to Bradley Cooper's prosthetic nose in "Maestro," joked that "Oppenheimer" needed to be "another hour," and called "Barbie" a movie about "a plastic doll with big boobies," the latter of which was met with unamused looks from Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, and Greta Gerwig.
In the middle of his jokes, Koy seemed to realize that they were falling flat, disclaiming, "I got the gig 10 days ago! You want a perfect monologue? Yo, shut up. You're kidding me, right?" However, the biggest blunder of the night came after Koy joked about Swift.
"As you know, we came on after a football doubleheader. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL. On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift, I swear," he said. The camera then panned to Swift, who appeared unimpressed, sipping her drink with a cold stare.
On the morning after the Globes, Koy appeared on "GMA3: What You Need to Know" and reacted to the overwhelmingly negative reviews he received as the host of the award show.
"I had fun. You know, it was a moment that I’ll always remember," Koy said. "It’s a tough room. It was a hard job, I’m not going to lie… I’d be lying if [I said] it doesn’t hurt. I hit a moment there where I was like, 'Ah.' Hosting is just a tough gig. Yes, I’m a stand-up comic but that hosting position it’s a different style. I kind of went in and did the writer’s thing. We had 10 days to write this monologue. It was a crash course. I feel bad, but I got to still say I loved what I did."
Due to the reception, Koy admitted that he isn't too bothered about jumping back into hosting any time soon.
"That’s a tough gig, I’m not going to lie," he said after being asked if he’d host the Globes again. "I love the art of stand-up. It was cool the opportunity came to me, but hosting is just a beast. That’s about it."
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.