9 Phrases Brilliant People Use To Politely Say 'That's Not My Responsibility'
There are polite ways to refuse to do something in the workplace.
Andrii Iemelianenko | Shutterstock When the clock strikes 12 p.m. and lunchtime comes around, most employees breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, after spending hours typing away or staring at a screen, they can take a break in peace. But as they get up from their desk, a co-worker may ask them for help. That's when the employee begins to realize that what their colleague is asking for isn't even in something they are in charge of.
In situations like this, there are certain phrases brilliant people use to politely say "that's not my responsibility." When workers are put in uncomfortable situations, it can be difficult to say no, but being clever and respectful about it can almost guarantee being let off the hook.
Here are 9 phrases brilliant people use to politely say 'that's not my responsibility'
1. 'I think you should consult [this person] on that matter'
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Too often in the workplace, employees unknowingly come up to their colleagues, looking for an answer the other person doesn't have. From asking questions about what they should be doing to advice on a subject they know little about, it can be impossible to kindly say "go away."
But rather than be unkind, one of the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "that's not my responsibility" involves having that person ask someone else who has the knowledge.
If people want to keep their jobs or maintain relationships with others, being kind and patient is necessary. And by redirecting that person to the correct individual, just about anyone can avoid taking on the extra responsibility they don't get paid enough to do.
Keeping the peace isn't easy. After all, being nagged over things that don't pertain to their job can make it increasingly harder to not be polite. But it's still important to keep the environment positive; otherwise, it might actually make it even harder for people to do their job.
According to a 2021 study, toxic work environments can lead to lower employee engagement, anxiety, stress, and depression. So, while playing nice isn't easy in a room full of oblivious people, it will almost always benefit them in the long run.
2. 'I'm not the best person to handle that, but I can point you in the right direction'
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When someone is just about to leave work and their co-worker approaches them with a problem, it might be tempting for them to roll their eyes and refuse to help. But rather than simply saying it's not in their wheelhouse, they can offer to redirect their co-worker to someone who can help.
If someone truly wants to avoid taking on extra responsibility in the workplace, they must first position themselves as not being an alternative source. Keeping their stance clear and their boundaries firm will make it much harder for people to take advantage of them
According to professor of counselor education Marvin G. Knittel Ed.D., "It's important for all of us to have personal boundaries. They dictate how we approach relationships with friends and acquaintances. Our boundaries help us live in-tune with our desires, needs, and feelings. We can say no to the things that we don't want to do and yes to the things that we want to do."
Boundaries are guidelines for what people are willing to accept and how they expect to be treated. So, while it may be frustrating and annoying, people who stay firm in their boundaries are more likely to have success than people who don't speak up about their needs at all.
3. 'I hear you, but I cannot do this'
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Sometimes, being blunt about what they need is the best way for someone to make their boundaries known. If people want to avoid taking on extra responsibility, they can say something like "I hear you, but I cannot do this."
In the workforce, it can be difficult for people to say what's on their mind. On one hand, they don't want to accidentally set someone off or get in trouble for making their boundaries known. But on the other hand, being upfront is a lot more effective than using arbitrary words to get their point across.
Not being direct in their needs can cause confusion. According to a study from PNAS, misunderstandings can lead to confusion, which then leads to conflict. With this in mind, it's much better for people to simply say what they can't do, rather than waste people's time by softening the blow. Not only does this make the conversation more effective, but it also ensures their boundaries are respected.
4. 'I'm sorry, but my schedule is booked'
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Everyone gets busy from time to time, especially when they're wearing many hats at work. From having to deal with clients or customers to taking on tons of responsibilities, the worst part about being busy is the inevitable line of questioning that seems to show up at the wrong time.
Sometimes, co-workers might unintentionally bother someone when it's inconvenient, asking them rapidfire questions or favors that have nothing to do with their normal obligations. It might be easy to ask them to go away, but being kind and polite is the best way to say no.
Whether people enjoy the process or not, having good manners and being polite benefits them greatly. According to researcher and professor of psychology Paul J. Zak in a decade-long experience, he found that when people are nice to someone else, it releases oxytocin, which causes others to also respond with kindness.
5. 'I wish I could help, but I'm not qualified'
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One of the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "that's not my responsibility" is "I wish I could help, but I'm not qualified." As it turns out, just because someone wants to help, it doesn't mean they are always the best person to.
Some people simply aren't the best or most trained in specific roles. Unfortunately, this doesn't stop others from asking them to take on more responsibility, even if they aren't qualified to. But if people aren't direct in their communication, they can't expect much in return. If a person doesn't know what their colleague can or can't handle, they may wrongfully assume this person is qualified to take on that role, even if they aren't.
This is why being upfront and honest is important. While some might believe that honesty isn't always the best policy, people are actually much better at handling the truth. According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, honest conversations are much more enjoyable, and people tend to react less negatively.
Even if it's scary, workers shouldn't be afraid to speak up and let their colleagues know what they are or aren't capable of doing. Believe it or not, people are much more understanding than others give them credit for.
6. 'I understand, but unfortunately, that falls outside of my normal responsibilities'
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Honesty is always the best policy when people are stuck and don't know what to do. And while bosses know what someone's responsibilities are, co-workers might not have a clue what someone's roles are, leading them to ask certain questions in the first place.
Direct communication and keeping their body language calm and collected helps people avoid taking on extra responsibility, while simultaneously keeping things respectful.
As associate professor Shahram Heshmat PhD explained, human behavior and expressions are directly tied to people's emotions. "Individuals looking angry are likely to be perceived as dominant and those showing embarrassment as caring about others' reactions," he said.
However, direct communication makes it much easier to avoid misunderstandings. As career coach and author Marty Nemko PhD put it, "Unless you're very direct in stating your concern, such people will remain in blissful ignorance and complacency." Being understanding, direct, and collected are all ways people can inform their co-workers of their responsibilities without being rude in the process.
7. 'Sorry, I don't have the resources to help'
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Whether it's co-workers asking to pitch in for the boss's gift or trying to pass on tasks they don't want to do, there will come a time when someone asks a big favor that others simply can't help with. That's where the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "that's not my responsibility" come in handy.
With rising prices globally, not everyone can afford to contribute more than what they are responsible for. A colleague may be asking for financial assistance or advice, but the person they're asking may not have resources available for them.
According to a Capital One Mind Over Money study, 77% of Americans feel anxious about their financial situation. If someone can't afford or doesn't have the resources to assist another person, they can simply say that. While rejecting someone isn't easy, focusing on their own resources and what they're able to provide is important.
8. 'I'm not involved in this area, but let me know if I can assist in another way'
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Employees have likely experienced sitting at their desk, minding their own business, when a co-worker comes up asking a question they know nothing about. It's frustrating to listen to question after question that are unrelated to their department or expertise.
While it might be tempting to tell them to kick rocks, one of the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "that's not my responsibility" is "I'm not involved in this area, but let me know if I can assist in another way." Likely, the people who ask these questions aren't intentionally making people's lives difficult. Feeling as if they don't know who to talk to, they go to the first person they can think of.
While it's annoying to be interrupted in the middle of work or an important task, simply redirecting them is the best solution. It ensures that things remain civil and polite. And as licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White PhD, explained, being kind to others can give people a dopamine hit, making them feel good in the long run.
9. 'Sorry, I'm going to have to decline'
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Again, honesty is usually the best policy. When people dodge around the point or don't want to say what's on their mind, it can cause confusion and frustration.
At the same time, being direct isn't easy. While most people would love to simply say they want to decline a request or task, it can be difficult to do so when most people identify as people-pleasers. But if people want to build up enough confidence to be direct about their boundaries, pushing back politely is the best place to start.
Practicing what they want to say is another starting point. According to clinical psychologist Rubin Khoddam PhD, "Practicing what you want to say and how to say it will increase your chances of successfully setting a boundary... Knowing how you want to communicate your needs and limits ahead of time (and again, in a way that feels authentic to you) will make it more likely that you'll be able to say it in the moment."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
