10 Odd Behaviors That Actually Mean A Man Is Mooching Off You
Are you financially responsible for your partner without even knowing it?
SrdjanPav | Canva Does your man only show up at mealtime, often forget his wallet, or ask you to run his errands for him? Chances are, you’ve got a money-sucking moocher who is not only wasting your cash but your time and your good lovin’ too.
See my list of criteria to determine if your man is into you or what you have, making him a mooch, if he qualifies as such a parasite, save your sanity and your bank account, and give this guy the boot.
Here are the odd behaviors that mean a man is likely mooching off you:
1. His dates are always low-cost
His dates are always remarkably low to no cost — things such as picnics, a walk on the beach or he just so happens to be in the mood for a cuddly DVR night in. On their own, there's nothing wrong with those types of dates — except if they're the only types he takes you on. And of course, on your nights to foot the bill, he suggests the latest and greatest restaurant, bar, or club in town.
2. He never misses a meal when you're cooking
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It's none other than your man, there to raid your fridge. Moochers are always on the prowl for free food so when it’s feeding time, you can expect to see him.
3. He always 'forgets' his wallet
He just so happens to forget his all the time when you go out leaving you to foot the bill, this is a sure sign of a mooch. Another key sign — on more than a few occasions his credit card has mysteriously declined.
4. He asks you to swing by the store to pick up a few things
Your sweet-talking beau calls and asks, “Babe, would you mind swinging by the store and picking me up a few things?” He then proceeds to list half a dozen or so toiletry-like items.
5. His laundry and dry-cleaning pile gets bigger by the week
What once was a delicate load of lingerie has now become dominated by boxers and mismatched sweat socks. When you go to pick up your dry cleaning, inexplicably included are a few men’s dress shirts and a suit jacket. Statistics already tell us wives do more of the housework than men, and you're doing it for a man you're not even married to? Think about that.
Writer Ossiana Tepfenhart warns, too, of weaponized incompetence, when it comes to men. "Weaponized incompetence is a manipulation technique that involves one party faking incompetence to avoid regular duties. In other words, it’s a way of playing dumb to avoid chores," Tepfenhart explains, citing a husband who just 'doesn't know how' to do laundry as a prime example.
"At the end of the day, I think we all know that women shouldn’t have to ask a man to pick up his own socks," she continues.
6. Your friends outwardly say that your man is a mooch
You deny it but then when you do a simple balance sheet calculation mapping out the give and take in your so-called relationship the take column is glaringly blank. Sure maybe he has hit a financial roadblock, but would it kill him to clean the house or cook for you, or does he need to camp out at your place all day working on a butt print on your sofa?
7. You move in together quickly — to your place
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You never even had the declarative, romantic ‘let’s take this step and move in together’ talk. He just took over a few drawers and badah boom badah bing, he’s your rent-free roomie. According to a survey from Apartment Advisor, most people move in together after a year together, and it's a mutual decision.
But writer Amanda Chatel counters that couples shouldn't even consider sharing a set of keys before discussing five core topics, so if he hires a moving van without engaging in these conversations, watch out.
"While there are great things about living together (i.e. being together 24/7, splitting the bills, etc.)", Chatel explains, "there are also major points of interest that a lot of couples exclude from their brains when they decide to share their lives under the same roof."
8. He’s slick
He knows every trick in the book to get something for free. He’s the first to find a lawsuit for nothing. He doesn’t take pride in earning what he receives.
9. He lives beyond his means
This could look like eating at a nice restaurant without you, going on a weekend getaway with the guys, or buying a nice watch. But when it comes to the basics, he is reliant on you.
10. He always has an excuse
If you had a pair of designer shoes for every time he told you that things were going to change soon — that he was trying to make things different — that if he had the world he would give it to you, you could compete with Carrie Bradshaw for most impressive footwear collection.
Tristan Coopersmith is a dating coach and therapist who has been featured on several radio shows including Dr. Drew’s Loveline and in many print and online publications such as Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Woman’s Day, JDate, AOL, and more.