I'm Not Perfect, But I Can Finally See The Beauty In Myself
I hated my body. I hated everything about myself.
True Touch Lifestyle / Shutterstock By Courtney Bond
Growing up, I got picked on constantly. My teeth were not straight, my tummy wasn’t flat, my thighs would jiggle when I walked, and I had acne on my face.
People liked to call me fat, or ugly, so naturally, this made me so self-conscious, and ultimately it made me hate everything about myself.
I saw all these girls around me that had perfect, clear skin, beautiful smiles, and fit bodies, and I thought, that would never, ever be me.
After high school, I was still so insecure about my body. I worked with women who were stunning and didn’t even have to try when I, on the other hand, struggled with my weight and felt like I could never leave the house without makeup and my hair perfect.
At my heaviest weight, I was almost up to 170 pounds (Which, do not get me wrong, is nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful and stunning no matter what).
For me, I was very uncomfortable in my own skin. I hated my body. I hated everything about myself.
Finally, I decided to completely change my life and how I felt about myself.
I started by getting a gym membership.
I began going three or four days a week. I took “before” pictures of myself at the gym as inspiration, and I began getting addicted to how I felt after leaving the gym.
Yes, I was tired and sweaty and breathing heavy, but I felt so refreshed and accomplished. This made me start going every single day.
I also started eating better.
I cut out soda completely. I stopped eating and snacking late at night, and I added more fruit and vegetables to my diet. I drank only water or green tea, and before I knew it, I was noticing changes in my body.
My thighs were more toned and did not jiggle as I walked, my tummy was a little bit flatter, I had so much more energy, and my skin was clearing up. I woke up every morning and I did not hate what I saw looking back at me in the mirror.
Now almost two years later, I am down to 135 pounds.
Although I have not completely hit my goal weight yet, I am so proud of how far I have come from the girl who was depressed and hated everything about herself.
Every day I make sure I tell myself something good about myself, or I do something to make me feel good.
Whether that is get my nails done, part my hair a different way, try different hairstyles, try different makeup looks, or just sit in front of the mirror and point out the good things about myself, not the bad things.
You have pretty eyes.
You have an amazing smile.
You are so caring.
You have such a big heart.
You are enough, exactly the way you are.
I am not perfect, but that's okay with me now.
Courtney Bond is a writer and former Unwritten contributor who has written articles about lifestyle, family, and mental health. Visit her author profile for more.