The Truth Is Adult Friendships Change — And That's OK
I am worried that they will forget about me and the friendship we have built over time.
Dodokat / Shutterstock By Larissa Martin
Some of us are lucky enough to have a core support system made up of people who care and love us unconditionally, such as loved ones and friendships.
I am fortunate enough to have four best friends who are my anchors.
They have been through hell and back for me, especially these past two years. Unfortunately, one of them moved away recently.
This is that one friend who had seen me sobbing uncontrollably, to the point where no one could understand a word I was saying. But they have always understood me, and there is never any judgment — just love and hugs that feel like home.
This move wasn’t unexpected, but it happened much faster than I thought.
They went from living two hours away to living five hours away from me. Our monthly visits and adventures went from to once every other month if we’re lucky because life just happens sometimes.
This might seem trivial to a lot of people. But for me, as someone with a disability and someone who doesn’t see people or go out as often as I want, I rely on others to go out.
Being disabled can be hard at times. It can also take a toll on a person’s mental health.
So those monthly outings and my bonding time with this person have greatly helped me with my mental health. It also helped get me out of my house when necessary. It was very beneficial for me and our friendship too.
Not having this anymore is becoming a big adjustment that I will have to deal with and process for the foreseeable future. And that’s okay.
I think another part of this big change is that I am still processing the feeling of being forgotten about and distant from this person, especially now that they have moved farther away. I am worried that they will forget about me and the friendship we have built over time.
As soon as I heard about my friend’s move, the very first thought that popped into my head was, Why?
It’s happened before in friendships, and I was scared that history would repeat itself. However, it doesn’t look like that will be the case this time.
I communicated my feelings about how this big move affected me, and we talked about it. And they understood my perspective.
Adult friendships are hard — they’re always changing and evolving. Some friendships may have disappeared, not because you wanted them to, but that’s just the case sometimes, and that’s okay. It’s part of life.
And when something like this happens, it makes you feel all the emotions, such as happiness, sadness, and everything in between.
Uncertainty about your friendships will happen — it’s inevitable. After this big adjustment, you will wonder whether your friendship will ever be the same again.
The answer is no, and that’s perfectly fine and normal.
What’s important to remember is that no matter where your friends are, they will love you unconditionally. They love you for who you are and what you both bring to each other’s lives. That will never change.
You and your friends will continue to grow together and support each other however you can. When something like this happens to us, we feel like everything is falling apart. Sometimes it might feel like it is, but this big shift and adjustment will take time to get used to.
However, it will make you and your friendships that much stronger, and you and your friends will appreciate each other so much more.
Larissa Martin is a writer and contributor to Unwritten whose work has been featured on MSN, Yahoo Lifestyle, Thrive Global, and The Mighty.