What It Took For Me To Finally Give Up On Dating
My heart couldn’t take it anymore.
everst / shutterstock By Lindsey Grace
My New Year’s resolution this year was to give up dating. There were several reasons that made me come to this big decision. It wasn’t easy, I promise because I’m a pretty big flirt.
Our generation has a pretty hard time dating, and one thing I hear constantly is how guys ruin it. I have been in two relationships during the past year so I didn’t have to deal with the dating scene that much.
I have noticed how disrespectful the guys are. You feel like nothing more than a piece of a** sometimes and it honestly hurts your soul. Even though you try not to take it personally, it’s hard.
It’s hard when men are simply not nice and treat you like s***. This kept happening to me while I was single and I finally got fed up. I was done with guys.
Every guy I casually dated or flirted it up with was fun... Until they realized they had to put in effort and actually get to know me. It wasn’t worth waiting for them, and they soon left. Every time I was disappointed.
Every time I felt like s***. Every time I felt like there was something wrong with me. I felt like I was constantly being rejected. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I couldn’t take the disrespectful guys. The guys that expect you to put out on a third date. The guys who want to just Netflix and chill.
So guess what? I gave it up. I gave up sending flirty texts to guys. I gave up searching for a boyfriend. I gave up giving up my number. I’ve been completely single since the last time I can remember.
The relationships I had been in weren’t the best for my self-esteem. I’ve learned from my relationships and don’t regret them. But, instead of walking away feeling loved, I felt teased, mistreated, angry, and hurting.
The guys had used me for what they needed, and when I was no longer of use to them, they left. It hurt and there is still a numbing feeling looking back. I knew I couldn’t keep living like this.
I knew I didn’t want to be hurt, second-guessing everything, and wondering when the next guy will cheat on me. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. I could feel my heart was broken and unable to heal.
It didn’t matter if they were “good guys,” or the famous “not like other guys.” This was too much for me. I was done being disrespected. I just knew it was time to focus on myself.
I needed to put myself first because at the end of the day, that’s really all I have.
I started to think about all the things I wanted in the next year. I had so many big dreams. I have so much to accomplish and goals to achieve before, and guys always come in the way. Usually, I would put my aspirations on the back burner.
It’s amazing being the only person I have to impress. I’m not let down anymore. I’m not disappointed. I’m not disrespected because it’s just me. I plan to do this for a year, but who knows; maybe I’ll like it so much it will be longer.
It’s actually a great feeling knowing you control your happiness. You don’t have to rely on a guy, and he can’t ruin your amazing day.
This isn’t about giving up on love forever or saying guys are the devil. It’s about listening to your heart, and knowing when to take a break. Even when you might really enjoy what you’re doing.
My heart needed a break and I didn’t want to be jaded. I didn’t want to become cold-hearted. So I knew I had to give it up for a while.
If any of this sounds familiar, I encourage you to do the same. If someone was mean to you, if someone hurt you, or you’re just tired of it all, it’s okay to stop.
Because one day a person will walk into your life and it will all make sense. You’ll never look back, and you’ll be glad you waited for that person.
Lindsey Grace is a writer and college graduate from the University of Oregon. Her work focuses on relationship, pop culture, and female empowerment topics. Visit her author profile on Unwritten for more.