To The Person Who Took Me And My Love For Granted
You taught me how important it is to love myself just because.
Aleshyn_Andrei / Shutterstock By Rayi Noormega
To the person who took me for granted,
What you’ve done to me wasn’t a surprise at all, as people have always mistaken my intention to fix them as a chance to destroy me instead. Every time I tried to fix someone else’s heart, I’ve always ended up being broken.
I believe that you weren’t a mistake; you were a blessing in disguise.
If not because of you, maybe I would never have realized my own worth and how I should be treated with respect and dignity. I won’t realize that those small acts of kindness, which my loved ones did to me, were the things that I should receive every day.
Similar to you, after all this time, I’ve taken them for granted as well and, from now on, they’re the ones whom I should always look up to.
You made me realize that I deserve to feel loved without insecurity and mixed signals. I deserve to love other people without anxiety and uncertainty.
And I deserve to realize my own worth by breaking up with the people who treated me like a second choice.
You taught me that this world is full of possibilities and I’m worth more than a person who is emotionally unavailable.
I will no longer dwell on your confusions and now I understand that most of the time, people will never change at all unless they insist to be better themselves.
Because of your presence, I understand that not everyone deserves a second chance.
The pain that I’ve had wasn’t your fault at all, as I was the one who obsessed with the idea of fixing your wounds.
You don’t owe me an apology as I should be the one who needs to apologize for having the idea of fixing someone who doesn’t need saving.
Thank you for making me realized that actually, I never have any responsibilities to fix other people and I don’t need to always be someone’s hero.
You taught me that I lived my life in such a wrong way as I always put other people on pedestals while always forgetting to love myself enough.
You taught me how important it is to love myself just because.
You made me realize that it’s okay to be disappointed, broken-hearted, and losing trust with someone whom I loved.
It’s okay to put myself first above others as I need to heal myself first before being ready to feel the hurt over again. It’s okay to be ignorant and to be the one who burned the bridge.
Someday when I see you again, I will say proudly to you that I have learned to love myself without any regards. I will learn to forgive that broken girl whom I see every day in the mirror.
I will shake your hand and thank you for making me realize that people aren’t homes and I’m the one who makes myself survive until today.
I will never regret or curse the universe for crossing our paths together. I did love you.
I promise myself that I will never try to fix and change other people ever again, and I will truly love them as they are, the same way as I learn to love myself along the way.
I thank you, because from the way you’ve taken me for granted, now I know how to love better than before.
Rayi Noormega is a writer for Thought Catalog and Unwritten. She has also been published at Elite Daily, Magdalene, Huffington Post, The Jakarta Post, and more. For more of her content, visit her website.