Why Being Fearless Is The Only Way To Love Again
Love is about time of being ready — ready to love and be loved.
vhpicstock / Shutterstock By Rayi Noormega
If you’re reading this, I know by heart what you feel.
I know how it feels to keep denying the feeling of infatuation to someone because you’re too afraid that a simple fling will grow into something real called love.
I know you’re confused because there’s a war within you; to love or to ignore.
Thus, you’re pushing away those who want to know you deeper for the sake of avoiding rejection and unrequited love. You won’t realize that by pushing people away, you make other people’s hearts broken.
You’re protecting your heart so hard until it feels lonely and it hurts, but it’s better than having a broken heart, isn’t?
You’re protecting your heart to always be intact — because you knew how long it takes to heal and put all the pieces together again if someone shattered it. I won’t say that someday you’ll find someone who doesn’t make you scared to fall in love — the universe doesn’t work that way.
But, one thing for sure: there will be a time when you’re ready to love fearlessly.
Please remember that people can’t fix you and you can’t wait for that one special person to come along and offering his love with the guarantee of not hurting you. That person won’t come along, simply because people will always hurt you.
Maybe that’s why love exists: to forgive and compromise people’s mistakes.
When you’re expecting someone to not hurt you, then you didn’t love them — you just want to be loved.
It’s a real love when you didn’t expect anything towards them, but you have hope. Hope that both of you will grow together to be better, hope that each other’s company will bring joy and positivity on both sides, and hope that both of you will keep each other’s trusts.
Please differentiate between expectation and hope; expectation means standards, meanwhile, hope means compromise and efforts.
Someday, you’ll understand that love is not about whom, but it’s about when.
Love is not about finding the one who won’t hurt you; love is about your readiness to compromise the pain and the feeling of being vulnerable with the person that you feel happy and respected to be with.
Love is not about what you want, but it’s about realizing what you need in a person. Love is about time of being ready — ready to love and be loved.
Your time will come when you want to risk your heart just to make another person happy. That is the time when you realize that a broken heart will always be mended.
You’ll know that your heart is strong enough to fix itself, although it has been crushed and shattered million times.
That’s the time when you let them take a piece of your heart and it doesn’t matter because you know you can grow it back all over again with or without anyone’s help.
Maybe it takes years for you to be ready to love and be loved again, and it’s totally okay.
Love requires deep understanding about yourself and it’s not easy. Take as much time as you need to learn about love and its vulnerable feelings.
Practice it once in awhile with people in your surroundings. If you’re being hurt, cry as loud as you can, get up, and love again, again, and again.
Don’t let the fear of being broken push away those who really want to love you sincerely.
Give them a chance to know you and to put down the walls that you’ve built in years to protect your heart. Meet as many people as possible to understand your own meaning of love.
Always remember that each person in your life was helping you to be ready to experience real love and at the end of the day, being fearless is the only key to making you ready.
Rayi Noormega is a writer for Thought Catalog and Unwritten. She has also been published at Elite Daily, Magdalene, Huffington Post, The Jakarta Post, and more. For more of her content, visit her website.