How To Flirt With A Friend You Like Without Making It Weird
The struggle is real!
novak.elcic / Shutterstock Oh no, it’s happened: you’ve caught feelings for a friend. I mean, figuring out how to flirt with a friend isn’t rocket science, but it’s admittedly a bit trickier than normal flirting.
So what do you do? How do you deal with it? Do you make a move? Or do you settle for pinning after them the rest of your life?
These are hard questions to answer because when you flirt with a friend there’s a lot more at risk than usual. You don’t want things to become weird between you and you also don’t want to be rejected. There’s uncertainty when it comes to making a move on a friend that could result in disaster.
But whether it’s your first time or your fifth time falling for a friend what you should know is that probably every person on the planet has done the same, and they’ve gotten through it. No matter the outcome.
We’re all human and we can’t control who we catch feelings for. Romantic feelings start to grow for someone we thought of as a friend and then we panic.
So what do you do? No need to worry.
We have some tips for how to flirt with a friend if you feel like testing the waters and seeing if your friend likes you back.
Without making it weird. Because nobody wants that.
1. Tease them.
This is a classic trip to elementary school. Remember the boy who was mean to you on the playground? Yeah, that dude was crushing.
So this is the same basic concept just a bit more grown-up. When you do some light teasing it brings a level of playfulness to the relationship.
Pick anything you want to point out. This is your friend, you know this person. Remember to keep it light and fun. Don’t point out things you know they are already insecure about.
2. Don’t move too fast.
Keep things light. Keep things fun. Sure, you might be in love with this person and you might have known for a while now, but they are just noticing this.
You have just begun flirting, you can’t barge in and declare your deep profound love to them right off the bat.
This will be super new to them. You don’t want to scare them off. So take it slow and start with some subtle flirting.
3. Remind them of your connection.
Yeah, you may be thinking “I don’t want to point out that we’re friends!” But this is probably one of the most important things you can do when flirting with a friend.
Remind them that you are there for them. That they already feel comfortable with you and can talk to you about anything.
Having a connection is something that brings you closer. So remind them of the friendship you have, and maybe that’ll make them want more.
4. Know your goals.
Before you even start to flirt with a friend you should first understand and figure out exactly what your end game is.
Do you want to date this person or do you just want a flirtationship? A flirtationship is basically in between the friend zone and friends with benefits. You get a confidence boost from the flirting but nothing more.
Knowing your goals will help you decide what paths to take when flirting. Whether it's jokes or something more serious and thought out.
5. Be confident.
When you open the can of worms that is flirting with a friend you have to go all in. No halfway flirting because you’re nervous, that is an easy one-way ticket to awkward town.
If you’re flirting, say it with your full chest. You want to say it, you want to do it. Don’t overthink and get inside your head.
If you exude confidence in your flirting, your friend will definitely notice in the way you want them to.
6. The little things count.
Flirting is a subtle art that many misunderstand. They always go big with flowers and over-the-top romantic gestures. You do not have to let alone need to do these things.
You can unlock the full power of flirting by doing small acts of kindness for your friend. Play their favorite songs in the car while you’re driving somewhere.
Make their favorite food or have the snacks they like when they come over. These things will not go unnoticed and when common things are found, your friend will want to spend a lot more time with you.
The more your friend is around you the potential for chemistry to bloom grows.
7. Spend time alone.
Going off that last one, spending time alone with each other is imperative to the flirting process. So make sure you go out of your way to be alone with your friend.
Flirting in a group is fun but it’s never taken as seriously as when it’s just the two of you.
So sneak them away from the group every now and then for a more private connection.
8. Use touch.
Body language is everything when it comes to flirting. So try to touch your friend in ways that go a bit beyond friendship.
You can squeeze their arm or place your hand on theirs or touch their hair. These are few sweet gestures that can make your connection deeper than just friends.
However, do not go too far. Be appropriate and if told to back off, listen.
9. Make them feel special.
If you’re in a group make a point to put your focus on them. If they say something, respond to them even if no one else in the group does or if the group has moved on. Or keep eye contact with them when they speak letting them know you’re listening.
Pointedly greet them first in the group. Single them out with a question or start a conversation with them. They will be happy you are making sure they aren’t left out and may look at you in a different way.
10. Nix flirting with others in front of them
Flirting with others may have helped you in the past to make future love interests jealous, but don’t do this when flirting with a friend.
Mind games are not what you want to play with a friend. You want to be honest and sincere in your intentions with them. So make sure they think they are the only person you are flirting with.
11. Keep the dialogue going.
Don’t smother them, but keep yourself in your friend’s mind even after hanging out. Send them funny memes or text them when you aren’t physically with them.
Create some inside jokes. Insert some cleverly placed naughty innuendos and you take the friendship to another level.
12. Make your move.
If dating is your end game, then flirting cannot last forever (however I am always a firm believer of still wooing each other even after getting together).
Therefore when you feel like it’s time and you’ve laid the flirting groundwork enough, then ask your friend out.
Flirting with a friend can be difficult because each friendship is different.
But hopefully, you know your friend well enough to pick out what would and wouldn’t work for you both.
Fingers crossed your flirting adventure goes well and the guy or girl friend that you caught feelings for becomes your next romantic relationship!
Deauna Nunes is an assistant editor who covers pop culture, news and entertainment for YourTango and has been published by Emerson College's literary magazine Generic. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.