Everything You Need To Consider Before Dating Your Best Friend
Sometimes the right person is the one who was by your side all along.
NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock By Tanzeela Sareea
Kimberly Steel said, “Relationships are always better when your best friends first and couples later.” We tend to overlook people that are always on our side.
Sometimes the right person is the one who was by your side all along. They might not be the person you’re dating currently but the person who’s giving you advice about whoever you’re dating now.
The person you consider your last option may just as well be your best one. However, sometimes it’s hard to take that next step especially with someone as important as your best friend.
Below are 8 pros to dating your best friend that might help you move forward:
1. You’ve already had what is perceived as a first date.
A typical first date comprises of first impressions and questions about the other person in order to get to know them better. However, with your best friend, you are through the awkward getting-to-know-you phase already.
2. They already know your parents, and your parents probably love them.
Every time you date a new person, there’s always the worry that you’re parents won’t like them or won’t approve of them. But, your parents would be thrilled if you’re dating your best friend, as they know there was probably nobody better than them for you to begin with.
3. You will work harder because you’ll both have a lot on the line.
This is your best friend we are talking about. They aren’t one of those random passing by people in your life wherein you wouldn’t bother much if things didn’t really work out.
Even if things are rough or not as you had expected between you guys, both of you’ll work hard in order to make it work.
4. They’ve always been by your side no matter what.
They have seen you at your best and at your worst and still stuck by you. They don’t need you to always be your rosy self; all you have to do is be yourself because that is, in fact, what they really love about you.
5. No one gets you the way they do.
If this person is really your best friend, they know you better than anyone else. They are already aware of the kind of person you want to be with and the kind of expectations you have from a relationship, and they will do their best to never let you down.
6. They know your secrets.
Your best friend is bound to know all your secrets, the ones that you’re proud off and the ones you aren’t.
They know everything you have been through and all the emotional baggage you come with. They will love you and accept you for you, and never try to change you.
7. You have shared important moments together.
If you have been best friends for a while, they would’ve been through a lot of life moments with you, the good and the bad.
They have seen you in sickness and health, been with you through life and death. They know what upsets you and what makes you happy, and they’re aware exactly how to be there for you.
8. You know one another well.
A lot of relationship turmoil takes place when exes and past relationships surface. You’ll never have this issue as you’re well aware of everything that went down in each other’s past, good and bad.
More importantly, you’ll have seen the other person hurt after a breakup and you would never want to be the reason for their pain in the future.
All of this is not to say that dating your best friend is always going to be a success story and easy. Some people can be great friends but not be good in terms of a relationship. Every coin has two sides and this one does too.
Below are 4 cons of dating your best friend for when things don’t go the way you anticipated:
1. Platonic compatibility vs. romantic compatibility.
I always say that no relationship will work without compatibility. We need compatibility to sustain all our relationships, including the romantic and platonic ones.
In the case of our best friend, we may confuse platonic compatibility with romantic compatibility, and if that happens things will feel weird for the both of you.
2. If things go south, you not only lose your boyfriend but your best friend as well.
For those who said you can be friends with your exes, it may be true. For those who think you can go back to being best friends with your ex, you will never end up going back to being best friends.
If things don’t go the right way, you would’ve lost the two most important relationships in your life. It will just seem like someone removed a part of you or that half your life went missing overnight.
3. They know all of your secrets.
I know I mentioned this as a pro previously. It is a good thing that your significant other already knows all your secrets but sometimes less is more.
There are some secrets you don’t want your partner to know. These are the secrets that surface during a fight and makes ugly matters worse.
4. It becomes an awkward situation for your friends since they have to take sides.
If you are best friends, you’ll definitely have a common friend circle as well. If things go bad, it becomes a bad situation for your friends as well. They have to choose between the two of you and that’s not a nice position to be in for anyone.
You can clearly see that there are more pros to dating your best friend than there are cons. However, you need to realize that your best friend is a very important person in your life.
If you are seriously considering taking the next step, it will change the dynamics of what you have right now. I always say there are many "wrong ones" we go through before the "right one" comes by. I truly hope that your best friend is the right one for you.
If you truly feel for this person and think they might be the one for you, take the leap of faith and go ahead. You don’t want to live your life with the regret that you never tried.
Being able to have the right life partner is a great stroke of luck, and sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you’ll realize that your soulmate was disguised as your best friend the whole time.
Tanzeela Sareea is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love. For more of her relationship content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.